Friday, August 31st, 2001
I scream you scream we all scream for pork loin? gotta love the new Pork campaign.
Archive for August, 2001
Friday, August 31st, 2001
A little bit of history… Here’s a funny little tale I wish to share with the world. It happened about 6 years back when I was a wee babe in high school….
Our adventure begins in Dennys, a fine sebastian of late night dining and one of the only restaurants where your mind can be put at ease by the equal opportunity disclaimer on their menus. My friends Mike, Rosie and I were hanging out, enjoying a serving of their wonderful Mozzerella Sticks and sodas.
I had to pee.
So, I rose from the table and wandered towards the rest room, dodging the throngs of women throwing themselves at me because, at the time, I was a damn sexy teen idol. Today I’m simply damn sexy, but I digress.
I get to the rest room, step to a urinal, and proceed to go about my business as any other guy in his right mind would. So, I’m standing there, probably thinking of a happy little diddy when I hear a noise.
What is that noise? Water. Water hitting something. I look down.
I’m being pissed on.
Seems the guy in the stall next to me had no aim. It was a regular toilet stall, so I couldn’t see the guy’s face but I sure as hell knew he was there. I moved my foot, knocked on the stall wall and announced, “Hey, you’re missing.”
“Oh, sorry,” was the reply, and the stream of piss moved back into his stall.
I took just enough time to zip up and wad up a ton of papertowels to dry my shoe and then ran like hell.
I returned to my table with the most pathetic look on my face to find that there was water all in my seat. Mike had done his drunken flailing thing with his water and gotten it all over the place. Rosie and he were laughing at the matter. Then they saw my face.
“What’s wrong?” asked Rosie.
“I just got peed on.”
Mike fell out of his seat laughing as Rosie squealed and covered her mouth. After a couple of moments, Mike got up and ran to the bathroom, a combination of laughing so hard he had to pee and he wanted to see this guy for himself.
I bought new shoes that weekend.
Friday, August 31st, 2001
Waco Holocaust Electronic Museum Um….interesting….
JOIN the Pillow Tag Revolution!
A couple days back… I gave you the Real Doll autopsy. Today I present the Barbie Autopsy!!
Thursday, August 30th, 2001
Are You Pregnant? Take the Internet’s First Online Pregnancy Test! Then read the guestbook afterwards and laugh.
Doors I Touched Today “I photographed every door or drawer knob, handle, or latch I touched from the time I awoke on Thursday, June 3rd until I went to bed on Friday, June 4th.”
Gay GI Joe Theater the title says it all.
Scientology So, a while back Robert Heinlein, author of Starship Troopers and Stranger in a Strange Land as well as many other wonderful books, bet L. Ron Hubbard, author of Battleship Earth and other wordy and horrible novels, that he couldn’t make a religion people would believe in. Hubbard won. We lose.
Get your very own… Ghetto Scooter!
What’s you Wu-Tang Name? I’m Contagious Specialist.
Supermarket Enslavement Secrets Ooooooo…..they own us all!
Thursday, August 30th, 2001
So, my hands are peeling off… This is weird. All of the skin on my hands is falling off. Well, the insides of my hands, the backsides seems to be fine. This is the aftermath of that rash from a couple weeks back, I guess. It’s freaky. And kinda cool in a scare-little-children kinda way. I may get a picture of it so all can see. It’s neat.
Oh, and after my onslaught of links yesterday I’m going to take it easy on you all today. I’ll find a few and post them, but the ungodly ammount of yesterday was probably a one time thing. Unless I get really really bored again. Which could happen at anytime. Maybe an hour from now…
Wednesday, August 29th, 2001
Okay, this pisses me off You know, the UN has no authority over us or any nation really so why petition them? Also, if you look at the numbers, the number of undercounts and discarded votes in Florida is actually below the national average. That and recount after recount made by the public and now the media continue to say Bush won. I understand that there were problems and issues, but there are other means to express your anger. Like making sure it never happens again. Oh well.
Deliverance from Demons They’re out there…
Help your doggie get some with Sweetie’s Doggie Dating Service
The Unoffical Jenna and Barbara Bush Website
Egged on by Crowd, Woman Leaps From Bridge
Damn! Artist Wants to Paint Moon, But Physics May Foil Plan
I’m Scared I have no idea what this is.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give to you the Virtual Stapler. Please enjoy responsibly.
Star Wars Episode 1.1: The Phantom Edit
Milk The Cow A bondage clad farmer loves his cow….
War in Heaven May the best God win.
The End of Innocence The Hello Kitty sex toy. Yes, this is real.
Wednesday, August 29th, 2001
How Not To Be Gay It’s a joke. It better be….
Ask Jeez Let the man upstairs answer all of your questions.
The Evil of Pippi Longstocking The Red-Haired Harbinger of the Apocalypse
Help this ugly bastard get some though I think he already did… Here’s the thing, though, if a girl said she wouldn’t sleep with you unless you got 1 million hits on your website, wouldn’t you kinda question that girl’s mindset and motivation? Just my curiosity getting the best of me. GO WALTER!
Papa Smurf is a Communist! Say it ain’t so!
The Second Coming Project If Jesus won’t come back to us, we’ll just clone him and force God’s hand! Yeah!
ALCOR Life Extension Foundation Cool, cryogenics!
Scooter Death Stone the scooter users!
Furby Autopsy What the hell makes them tic?
Robot Rock Critic Just put in a few details and this will spew out a review for ya!
Tuesday, August 28th, 2001
This Page Can Not Be Displayed
Oh, Teddy I love you so….
Jesus full of hot air.
By the way this guy’s cat hates you.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *balls up into fetal position*
Tuesday, August 28th, 2001
Join the Champion letter writing campaign for men’s underwear without slits! Write them up and tell them you want briefs without those damn slits stuff gets caught in. I mean, what’s it for? Does anyone actually use that to do anything? It uses more fabric to make it that way, let’s end this waste and do something for our fellow man!
Cruel Site of the Day
“The Smoking Gun brings you exclusive documents — cool, confidential, quirky — that can’t be found elsewhere on the Web. Using material obtained from government and law enforcement sources, via Freedom of Information requests, and from court files nationwide, we guarantee everything here is 100% authentic.”
Science Rules! “The Cow’s Eye Dissection is one of the most popular demonstrations at the Exploratorium. For many years it has helped people satisfy their curiosity about what is inside an eye.”
Wacky Uses for household items. Interesting AND fun!
T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Tests With Inorganic Noxious Kakes In Extreme Situations is a series of experiments conducted during finals week, 1995, at Rice University. The tests were designed to determine the properties of that incredible food, the Twinkie.
The Bible in Pig Latin
My Date With Destiny Written by Kevin Smith and Penciled by Joe Queseda, it’s the comic story of how Smith met his wife. Awwww…. It’s also a great gimmick as this comic was in the New York Times. Branching out?
The Coolest WebCam EVER! Webcams usually aren’t all that great and all, but this one’s kinda cool. You see, if you hit a button you can make a machine in their yard blow bubbles! How’s that for interactivity!
Want to feel old? A buddy of mine just sent me this link. Beloit College Mindset List is “a compilation of items that indicate the viewpoint and frame of reference of entering students”. So they’ve never heard of or seen many things I grew up with, and I’m not that much older than them! Sheesh!
The REAL Gary Condit Interview It’s in Flash!
Remember Wes Crusher? From Star Trek The Next Generation? Well, the boy’s name is Wil Wheaton and he has a blog here.
All Your Base Are Belong To Us!! The History
Monday, August 27th, 2001
Linkage!!!! Jail Cam! | Police follow naked man to pot crop | The Serial Killer Index Page | Dan’s New Gallery of Scary Clowns | Ant City! | What Would Jesús Do? | Nicotine Water mmmm…… |
Monday, August 27th, 2001
Ego Watch 2k1 Update for today. After the weekend there were only 10 new votes, bringing the total up to 88 votes, giving me an average of 5.57 (down .04 from Friday’s report). I’m still better than “79.7% of other active male members” and Rate People still thinks I should have no trouble getting dates.
| Rank | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| Votes | 25 | 2 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 9 | 10 | 4 | 13 | 13 |
Two more people thought I was only a 1 or a 2, bringing that total up to a wonderful 26.
Monday, August 27th, 2001
Ah, what a weekend Started it Friday night with a viewing of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, excellent movie and one of Kevin Smith’s best, though he has never failed to impress me.
For those that don’t know who Jay and Silent Bob are (what are you, nuts?!?!?!!!), they’re a couple of stoner slackers who spent most of their time standing in front of a convience store dealing and just standing there. In Mallrats they were the two guys who tried to stop the game show from happening for Brodie and….um….that other guy (I can’t remember his name, I’m kicking myself over this, ouch). In Chasing Amy they were someone. I haven’t see that yet, though I have it at home so I really have no excuse. In Dogma they were the two guides/protectors or whatever their roll was. In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back they’re off to stop a movie version of a comic based on them from being made. The comic, Bluntman and Chronic, was a comic made by the main folks in Chasing Amy. Smith’s excellent with his continuity and while you’ll still like J&SBSB if you haven’t seen his other flicks, a knowledge of the View Askew-iverse makes the movie all that much more enjoyable.
Saturday….what did I do Saturday….AUCTION! Yeah, I’ve become an auction junkie, I caught an estate auction and for twelve bucks got a like new 8mm movie projector ($5), the frame to a Model T windshield ($5) a hand sewing machine and more($2)! It’s great.
Sunday was beach day, went to Virginia Beach and caught a few waves with my body board! Yeah! Don’t let this fool you, though, I suck at surfing or boarding of any kind and the waves on the east coast here are weak.
Then I came home and went to bed.
Friday, August 24th, 2001
ARRR! What’s your Pirate Name?
DAZAMN! Missed this one too!
Psst Wanna see a sonic boom?
More Flash Fun! Fling the Cow! | Interview with God
He has returned! A woman dies leaping through her car’s sunroof when events convince her that Jesus has returned! Not true, but funny just the same.
Friday, August 24th, 2001
Ego Watch 2k1 Update for today. After the weekend there were only 10 new votes, bringing the total up to 88 votes, giving me an average of 5.57 (down .04 from Friday’s report). I’m still better than “79.7% of other active male members” and Rate People still thinks I should have no trouble getting dates.
| Rank | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| Votes | 25 | 2 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 9 | 10 | 4 | 13 | 13 |
Two more people thought I was only a 1 or a 2, bringing that total up to a wonderful 26.
Thursday, August 23rd, 2001
No Good Guys As he puts it on the site, “I live in Israel and know that there are No Good Guys in this awful story. I just want to show you my perspective.” Interesting stuff and worth a read.
Good for any politician It’s like dangling a carrot, only it’s money.
Kickin’ it old school with M.C. Hawking
ASCII Porn Please view responsibly.
