A little bit of history… Here’s a funny little tale I wish to share with the world. It happened about 6 years back when I was a wee babe in high school….

Our adventure begins in Dennys, a fine sebastian of late night dining and one of the only restaurants where your mind can be put at ease by the equal opportunity disclaimer on their menus. My friends Mike, Rosie and I were hanging out, enjoying a serving of their wonderful Mozzerella Sticks and sodas.

I had to pee.

So, I rose from the table and wandered towards the rest room, dodging the throngs of women throwing themselves at me because, at the time, I was a damn sexy teen idol. Today I’m simply damn sexy, but I digress.

I get to the rest room, step to a urinal, and proceed to go about my business as any other guy in his right mind would. So, I’m standing there, probably thinking of a happy little diddy when I hear a noise.

What is that noise? Water. Water hitting something. I look down.

I’m being pissed on.

Seems the guy in the stall next to me had no aim. It was a regular toilet stall, so I couldn’t see the guy’s face but I sure as hell knew he was there. I moved my foot, knocked on the stall wall and announced, “Hey, you’re missing.”

“Oh, sorry,” was the reply, and the stream of piss moved back into his stall.

I took just enough time to zip up and wad up a ton of papertowels to dry my shoe and then ran like hell.

I returned to my table with the most pathetic look on my face to find that there was water all in my seat. Mike had done his drunken flailing thing with his water and gotten it all over the place. Rosie and he were laughing at the matter. Then they saw my face.

“What’s wrong?” asked Rosie.

“I just got peed on.”

Mike fell out of his seat laughing as Rosie squealed and covered her mouth. After a couple of moments, Mike got up and ran to the bathroom, a combination of laughing so hard he had to pee and he wanted to see this guy for himself.

I bought new shoes that weekend.