Magic-Store Employee Not The Same Since Losing Virginity

Scottie Reuss, 22, a longtime employee of Merlin’s Magicland, has not been as interested in magic or customer service as he was before his March 27 virginity loss, coworkers reported Monday.

“Scottie’s been working here almost three years, and he’s always been responsible,” said Sol “Merlin” Horowitz, owner of Merlin’s Magicland, located in the Holiday Plaza strip mall. “But these past few weeks, he just hasn’t been himself. It’s almost as if serving the needs of the Orange County magic community is no longer his top priority.”

In addition to failing to re-lock the sword cabinet twice and calling in sick for the first time in his tenure at the store, Reuss has been markedly less enthusiastic about demonstrating tricks to customers over the past three weeks.

“Heck, I’ve been in the business 34 years, and Scottie could show me new places to hide a ping-pong ball,” said regular customer “Amazing” Al Rondelle. “But the last time I went in there, he acted like he couldn’t care less about incredible shrinking dice and color-changing ropes. He just rang up my purchases and waved me out the door.”

Described by acquaintances as “not all that socially skilled,” Reuss lost his virginity at the party of friend Justin Verkilen. Drunk on Malibu and orange juice, Reuss abandoned his usual method of socializing?approaching guests and asking them for a coin?and joined some non-magic-related conversations. At approximately 2:30 a.m., Reuss and Verkilen’s cousin, Karla Eddy, found themselves alone in the computer nook, where “one thing led to another.”

Simonsworld

Hello and welcome to my cyber abode!

I am an exceptionally bright student, a talented artist, and breathtakingly young .I’ve been graced with a spellbinding exotic look and a soft sensual touch. I have short silky black hair, dark mesmerizing eyes, full pouty lips, creamy olive skin, and a delightfully slim, muscular figure.

As a non-smoking, light social drinker who is articulate, elegant, exciting, and fun, I make a captivating and enticing companion for private engagements, travel, and black dress affairs.

Please take a few minutes to actually read through my website; merely looking at my pictures and deciding that I physically appeal to you is not enough to ensure that we will get along and have fun together.

I wish I was a playa like Simon…

Phil’s Site of Useless Information

When the Titanic sunk there was 7,500 lbs. of ham on it.

God Hates Barbers

If this Gospel truth offends you, then please hit the “Back” button on your browser. Otherwise, to find more information on this subject, information on the Southboro Baptist Church and her picketing ministry, a Gospel memorial to poor Andy Peterson, and more religious commentary and opinion on current events, please click one of the links below. In clicking the links below, you testify that you are entering this website because you want to, and are not in any way being forced to view the material contained therein.

In summary, hair croppers are wicked and sinners before the Lord exceedingly, are violent and doom nations, are abominable to God, are worthy of damnation for their vile, depraved, unnatural grooming practices. They are lower than rats because they are filthy, impudent and selfish. They produce by their very presence in society a kind of mass intoxication from their wine made from the grapes of Clairol, from the vine of Brillcream, and the fields of mousse which poisons society’s mores with the poison of dragons and the cruel venom of asps. They are natural brute beasts — dogs eating their own vomit and sows wallowing in their own feces. They have been finally given up by God to uncleanness, dishonoring their own bodies among themselves, to vile preening, and to a reprobate mind such that they cannot think straight about anything.

“Hey, Jason,” they ask, “what’s with all the religious links today?”

I don’t know. They’re just there.

Everyone Was Wrong About McCain-Feingold!

Here’s the wrinkle: It turns out the new law’s ban on last-minute ads only applies to corporations. True, most non-profit “advocacy” groups?such as the Sierra Club and the ACLU?are corporations. But (and this is the point I didn’t understand) they don’t have to be. It’s perfectly possible to form a simple unincorporated association and still get nonprofit tax status. (You just have to show that your articles and bylaws meet IRS requirements.) And if you’re not incorporated, then McCain-Feingold’s ad ban doesn’t apply.

Just one of many. Anyone really surprized?

Kopi Luwak, World’s Rarest Coffee

The AutoFrisk

Dear Lord….

NYT Random Login Generator So you don’t really have to register if you want to read all the content.

How to baptize someone in an emergency

Coolest Organ EVER!

Is everything you know wrong?

VIRUS WARNING!!! The Curse!!!!! And only the Seventh Day Adventists have The Cure!!!!

Survival in the Nuclear Age

Semen collection simplified

American Decency Organization Which I am not a member of.

The biggest ball of bras in California.

Ask Moses

Have You Been Financially Raped By Landover Baptist Church?

Hello, my name is Dora. You?ve seen my picture, so you know that I am an extremely attractive woman. But that is only 7/8 of my story. I am also very sophisticated. But don?t let that intimidate you. I have my foibles and weaknesses. In fact, I am currently in recovery for the psychological abuse I have suffered at the hands of Landover Baptist Church.

OBJECTIVE: Landover Baptist Shutdown

Our Purpose:

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

What is this Landover Baptist Church? It’s funny as hell is what it is.

The state Legislature has given police power to search your home without telling you why. (Michigan)

Two new laws, which took effect Monday as part of anti-terror efforts, also shield from public scrutiny the reasons for police searches.

Defense lawyers and civil libertarians are outraged at the laws, which make search warrants and supporting documents such as affidavits non-public records.

“If you think the police did secretive work before, just wait,” defense attorney William Cataldo said. “It gives more power to the ignorant and more power to those who would take your rights.”

Defense lawyer Walter Piszczatowski said: “This is nuts, this is beyond nuts.

“What happened to the Fourth Amendment? We’re living in a police state.”

Stephanopoulos’ sis: Israelis ‘defecated’ in medical clinic

“I’m not spreading propaganda,” George Stephanopoulos’ orthodox-nun sister vows, but Israeli soldiers last week “defecated” on the floors of a West Bank medical clinic they raided.

They’re also looting Palestinians’ homes there, claims Sister Maria Stephanopoulos, a nun at the Convent of St. Mary Magdalene in Jerusalem.

A Russian Orthodox Christian (who changed from Greek Orthodox), Stephanopoulos runs a school for Palestinian girls there, and is pleading with priests here, via e-mail, to “get on the phone and ask your congressman and senators why the United States government is backing this invasion of Israeli forces into sovereign (Palestinian) areas, (and) why so many innocent civilians are being terrorized.”

Not all the front-line reports of “Mother Maria,” as she’s more recently known, turn out to be true.

Part of NYC Building Collapses

Part of a Manhattan commercial building collapsed Thursday following a possible boiler explosion, injuring more than three dozen people.

“It was a giant boom ? a real giant boom,” said neighborhood resident Bill Beek, who lives a half-block away. “It sounded like an airplane crashing.”

Several victims, at least one believed to be in serious condition, were taken to St. Vincent’s Hospital and the Cabrini Medical Center for treatment. Other victims, bloody and bandaged, sat on curbs waiting for transportation.

There was no immediate report of any fatalities. Windows were blown out along the block ? West 19th Street between Sixth and Seventh avenues in the city’s the Chelsea section.

At least 50 injured in Manhattan blast

An explosion Thursday in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan damaged adjoining high-rise buildings housing a technical school, offices and residential units and injured at least 50 people, police and fire officials said.

Authorities said no foul play was suspected, and the explosion appeared to be an accident.

At least six people had life-threatening injuries, according to a spokesman with St. Vincent’s Hospital.

The explosion happened in a building housing the offices of Kaltech Industries, a manufacturer of fabricated interior and exterior signs, authorities said. A police spokesman said plumbers were working on a boiler in the basement and that “may have had something to do with it.”

Asparagirl’s first thoughts

Dan Bern will be playing at Ashland Coffee and Tea May 22nd at 8pm. Any of you in the area or willing to make the trip really should get out there and see him. He’s an awesome musician and puts on quite a show. (There’s also a May 21st show at Jammin’ Java in Vienna but I have no idea where that is and I know that Bern ruled in Ashland last time he was there so I’m recomending that show. At least he’s not at Iota again, he wasn’t appreciated nearly enough there.)

The New York Sun’s not-so-bright debut

At a time of growing monopoly and declining competition in the media world, it’s hard to begrudge a group of optimists who think it’s time to launch a 50-cent newspaper in New York. Hard, but not impossible. Because after reading the first week of the New York Sun, the new broadsheet launched to much fanfare on April 16, even the most hardened ink-on-paper media junkies were forced to concede that some things are better left untried.

Armed with $20 million from investors such as conservative media tycoon Conrad Black — last seen in the news taking a $300 million loss on his Canadian newspaper launch, the National Post — and Michael Steinhardt — last seen in the news writing a letter to President Clinton urging him to pardon disgraced financier Marc Rich — the Sun’s founders are reviving a newspaper name that disappeared from city news racks in 1950. Today’s New York Sun aims to deliver an educated read (i.e. no serious sports coverage, TV listings, weather forecasts or winning lottery numbers) to conservatives who don’t think the New York Times and its 100-plus metro reporters and editors are delivering enough local news. Talk about a tough niche.

Lost speeches of W.

My fellow Americans, I stand before you having executed a J-turn, which is — make no mistake — the most challenging turn an American can make.

The evil ones would have you believe Camaros only burn rubber in the forward, frontal direction. They would have you believe it’s impossible to master the gas-brake ratio in a vehicle with a roadholding index of .85 g. That’s not all. The evil ones would have you believe the leader of the free world has not gripped high-caliber heat in his bare hands and squeezed off not one, but several, patriotic rounds into lifelike paper targets. And, I’m sorry to say, they’d have you believe he has not witnessed simulated water rescues.

Rudiments of Wisdom Cartoon Encyclopedia

Vischeck simulates colorblind vision.

Colorado School District Unanimously Rejects Creationism In Science Classes

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United, was pleased with the results.

“School officials in Joes clearly did the right thing yesterday,” Lynn said. “Of course, the real winners here are quality science, the First Amendment and the community’s public school students.”

Lynn added that the proposal to teach creationism in science classes was problematic because creationism is clearly based on religious principles.

“Public schools serve a diverse student population and may not promote religious doctrine thinly disguised as science,” said Lynn, who is an attorney as well as a Christian minister. “It is unconstitutional to turn our public schools into Sunday schools.”

Continued Lynn, “By voting down this proposal, the Liberty board has shown respect for both religious freedom and sound science education.”

Hackers turn tables on file-swapping firms

The record companies had their Napster, and the stream of file-swapping companies that followed. The file-swapping companies now have their “Dr. Damn.”

For the past several weeks, the pseudonymous programmer, a college student who declines to give his real name, has been releasing versions of popular file-swapping programs online with the advertising and user-tracking features stripped out.

He’s done Grokster and iMesh. And he’s not alone. His work, now available through the Grokster and iMesh networks themselves, joins that of other programmers who have previously “cleaned” programs such as Kazaa and Audiogalaxy in a campaign against “adware” and “spyware.”

“I’ve never been a big fan of large companies spying on their users,” Dr. Damn wrote in an instant messenger interview. “Especially me.”

The Fresh Maker

Kids In the Hall Audio Archive

“Damn you, Jason,” they scream, “why’d you have to go and change the look just as we were getting used to the other one?”

“Well,” replies Jason with a shy smirk, “I’m bored and thought I’d play with the design.”

“BAH!” they shout back. “Get off your duff and do your real job or spend your free time finding cool links instead of changing the damn look. Or maybe you could work on some of that writing you’re behind on.”

And Jason proceeds to smite the masses for the general joy of it.

Consumer Freedom

I’m sorry, this group pisses me off. Their new advertising campaigns suck too. It’s a group of restaurant owners and what not that say you have a right to eat what you want and enjoy yourselves when your out and to not listen to all of those other folks who want to take your meat away. Which is all fine and good. I wouldn’t have a problem with these guys if they were just against militant vegetarians. But they attempt to discredit ANYTHING that says fast food is bad for you or obesity is bad for you or any attempt to educate you to the health benefits of anything over restaurant food. They hype bioengineered food when Harpers (I’ll have to find the article) recently published that, on average, the difference in yield from bioengineered food compared to non-bio is 0%, so what are the benefits other than killing birds and bugs and ruining an ecosystem without fully knowing the long term effects such foods might have on people? These guys are no better than the extremists against meat and this crap, only it’s the complete opposite.

Here’s a fine example of logic:

Soda and snack foods in schools

California Governor Gray Davis, with an eye on the 2004 presidential election, has been working on building a national profile. While potential rivals focus on terrorism and the economy, Davis has boldly seized the ground on our nation’s most pressing concern: Soda and snack food in schools.

On October 13 Davis signed into law California Senate Bill 19, which bans the sale of foods that do not meet arbitrary standards for fat and sugar content on elementary campuses — in cafeterias, snack bars, vending machines and even at student bake sale fundraisers — and limits the sale of carbonated drinks at middle schools.

So, Golden State students, say goodbye to soda with lunch, and to desserts that are more than 35 percent sugar — no matter how healthy a meal they’re topping off. . .

. . . Schools use the income from soda machines to help pay for extracurricular activities, those essential parts of the learning experience that are often first on the block during budget-cutting time. In addition, by severely limiting access to soda machines, the law may be stealing some students’ best means of getting regular exercise, since soda revenues help pay for athletic programs that taxpayers reject.

Escutia recognized these concerns, but brushed them aside. “While selling junk food and soda may bring in money for schools, it does so at the expense of our children’s health,” she insisted. “I would be incredibly disappointed if our schools were to say that that’s an acceptable tradeoff.”

But the “tradeoff” is not so clear-cut. Students will just bring the forbidden foods from home. Or save their consumption for after school. In short: Without this law, schools get needed income and students drink the occasional soda. With this law, schools will be forced to go begging? and students still drink the occasional soda.

Yep. And with alcohol banned in schools, kids will just get it at home, or drugs or fighting or sex. The school has every right to say no to marketing gimicks in the schools. And the ammount of money they make off of this is miniscule.

In this latest effort to micromanage schools and students, California’s government has actually made things worse. On average, most students buy just two dozen cans of soda from the machines in a school year — less than one can a week. That doesn?t hurt them, but it does help their schools.

Two dozen cans a year, let’s say at fifty cents a pop, give the school a quarter profit, that’s six bucks per kid. Great, let’s be conservative and say 1500 students, you’re only looking at $9000, the cost to educate ONE child. Nine thousand bucks to allow these programs in our schools to peddle crap to kids. They don’t need that and they shouldn’t get it from schools.

Consumer Freedom tries to make Huxley comparrisons (”Brave New California”) over a freakin can of soda, a business trying to infultrate the schools. What the hell? Why is soda so damn important when all it does it pump sugar in you while dehydrating you as well? Oh, wait, I’m sorry, Consumer Reports says that that’s “baseless anti-soda propaganda that links soda consumption to osteoporosis, obesity, tooth decay, and heart disease.” Baseless? How so? You say it’s wrong but offer no proof to the contrary. How can all of these studies conducted all coming to the same conclusions all be wrong? Are they all so horribly biased?

ARUGH!!!!!

Damn, for a wanna be politician, I really hate lobbys.

Thursday Threesom

Onesome. The Good. Read a good book lately? Recommend a recent read - as well as your favorite book of all time….

Well, I’m currently reading two. Republic.com is an excellent book that looks into the personalization of the web and how the creation of the “Daily Me” ultimately harms free thought and democracy. The other is Small Pieces Loosely Joined which so far seems to be a look at the overall effect of the internet on society and the world at large, but I’m just starting it. I’ll go into more details later.

Favorite book? I’d be hard pressed to say, but anything by Tim Sandlin or Jonathan Lethem is awesome.

Twosome. The Bad. Was it so bad that you couldn’t watch anymore? Tell us about a bad movie - did you leave or suffer through it? (Videos can count, too)

I’ve never left in the middle of a movie. Video wise I’m sure I’ve turned one off or walked away, but nothing comes to mind specifically.

Threesome. And The Ugly. And then things turned ugly…. Oh, have a day (or date) seem to go so horribly wrong it can only be described as “ugly”? Tell us all about it…

Wow, which one? Heh, again, can’t get specific because that’d require too much thinking and it’s early, my mind’s not up and running yet. If I think of anything I’ll certainly let you all know.

And since I wasn’t here yesterday…

Wednesday Whine

1. When you are upset, how do you wish others (friends, family, lovers, children) would respond to you? How do others actually respond to you?

I wish they’d go about their business as if nothing’s wrong. And for the most part they do. Well, everyone but my mother and my girlfriend. My girlfriend especially. Jenn sees right through that stuff and tries to get me to talk about it. Usually doesn’t work, but that’s more because I might not know why I’m upset more than anything else.

2. When you succeed (get hired at a job you wanted, get promoted, have a baby, find love, win the lottery, get an A in a class you worked hard in, get a C in a class you worked hard in, however you define success!), how do you wish others would respond to you and your success? How do others actually respond?

I wish they’d be happy too. I don’t know, I’d like for any joy I have to rub off on others, if just to make their days a bit better. I mean, I understand if they could care less and it’s not that I want attention or that I think their happiness revolves around me, but I figure it’s me doing my part to make others happier. Yeah.

What bullshit.

3. When you are trying to change something in your life in order to improve the quality of your life (quit smoking, change eating habits, start therapy, quit therapy, however you define improving the quality of your life!), how do you wish others would respond? How do they actually respond?

Um, I wish they’d go about their lives as usual, really. If I make myself better that’s all about me. If they want to congratulate me, great, if not, eh, so what. It’s all about me, baby.

4. When you take a stand for something you believe in (religion, abortion, education, anything that you deem important), how do you wish others would respond? How do they actually respond?

I wish they’d respect my opinion and, if they disagree, attempt to enter an intellegent discussion about ideas and foundations of beliefs, not in an attempt to convert, but in an attempt to educate. I could be wrong, they could be wrong, how did we come to our conclusions, are they accurate and can they help the other person?

5. Think of your own darn question!

What makes the grass grow?

Mini-Mizer Picture Yourself in Plastic

Rotten Links Hamper Learning

Markwell and David Brooks, a professor of chemistry education, collaborated to develop three graduate-level biochemistry courses for high school teachers.

Students can sign up for a course any time and take it at their convenience.

Sounds easy, right?

Not for the professors. Each month, the two spend about four hours checking the 515 hyperlinks to ensure that students have up-to-date materials.

After 20 months, 18.8 percent of the total links had disappeared. Over 11 percent of dot-org links, 18.4 percent of dot-edu pages and 42.5 percent of dot-com addresses were lost since the study began.

“They’ve just continued to disappear,” Markwell said. “I find it frustrating.”

Missing links include resources from the Mayo Clinic, an encyclopedia of plant biology, dot-com links on steroid use and links to courses with relevant lecture notes, Markwell said.

“It’s decreased the amount of distributed resources I use to enrich the experience of my own (traditional) students,” he said.

The study also found that a handful of links changed into porn links, which could be a real concern for high school or middle school teachers who direct their students to Internet resources, he added.

The Welch Report - Go Publish Yourself

Matt Welch is only 33, but for media-watchers, it seems as if he?s been around for ages. The Los Angeles-based freelancer launched Eastern Europe?s first independent English-language newspaper in the early 90s, before returning to the US as news editor of the late lamented Tabloid.net, a pioneering dot.com news site.

He went on to become one of the most respected critics of a journalism scene he helped create, writing regular columns for the influential Online Journalism Review. Recently, he?s been a gun for hire, publishing in numerous newspapers, magazines, and websites, while contributing to his weblog on an almost daily basis.

A little background: weblogs are self-published columns or news reports, part-online diary, part-media commentary, part-analysis and part-opinion column: The ratios vary from weblog to weblog. Anyone can set up a weblog, or blog, and since September 11th, thousands have. Sometimes they are written by name journalists, like Andrew Sullivan or Matt himself; sometimes they are published by enthusiastic amateurs. Bloggers exchange links, point their readers in the direction of interesting articles, highlight examples of idiocy in ?mainstream? media. Many weblogs come from a conservative perspective: the majority of prominent ?war bloggers? would be broadly supportive of US actions in the War on Terrorism. Some bloggers claim that their columns offer a counterpoint to what they see as predominantly liberal bias in the national press, and point to their visitor?s stats as proof of widespread disillusionment with mainstream media commentary.

Unsurprisingly, newspaper columnists don?t always look favourably on their new competitors: In recent weeks, articles have appeared challenging webloggers? readership, veracity and professional discipline. The main criticism seems to be that, thanks to blogging, anyone can be a journalist: readership figures, editors and fact-checkers be damned.

Can anyone be a journalist now?

And my apologies for no updates yesterday, I wasn’t at work and the computer at home is without a monitor. BAH!

The look Hell, if you’ve visited my site more than once in a two week period you know I can’t stick with a layout and what not. I’m cleaning it up a bit now, tearing through the links on the left and removing or adding accordingly. More pictures are popping up and I’m probably going to play with a few more things on the sidebars, just a layout I’m happy with. I’m not making much sense right now, am I?

I’m so tired. Can’t wait to head home. Only ten more minutes. Then I wait 30 minutes for my bus. Then I wait 20 minutes to sell tickets. Then I can sleep for an hour or so. Ahhhh…elusive sleep….

Later, all.

If you have a blog or any site really and have a long ass list of links on the side like I do or want one, check out blogrolling, a great way to get your list up and running.

My girlfriend would say this was lying but, hey, anything I can use to say “see, I’m not THAT bad with the internet” is fine by me.

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 38% Newbie (21% - 40%) You’ve started to learn that there is more to the internet than AOL. You’ve recovered from that email virus that wiped your hard drive and are thinking of getting DSL. You still tend to forward too many jokes and inspirational thoughts via email to your entire address book. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

News stuff:

Text of pope’s address to U.S. cardinals

It must be absolutely clear to the Catholic faithful, and to the wider community, that Bishops and superiors are concerned, above all else, with the spiritual good of souls. People need to know that there is no place in the priesthood and religious life for those who would harm the young.

Bush aide Karen Hughes resigning

White House counselor Karen Hughes — called by one top White House aide as “the most influential person” in President Bush’s political life — will resign this summer and return to Texas with her family, she announced Tuesday.

She is the first member of the president’s inner circle to announce she is leaving, and said she made the decision because she wanted to return her family to Texas.

“Our home is Texas; we’re a little homesick,” she said.

Bush’s closest adviser, Karen Hughes, to quit

Karen Hughes, one of President Bush’s closest friends and advisers, told the president on Tuesday that she plans to resign as White House counselor at summer’s end to return to her home state of Texas. “I’m going to be changing the way in which I serve the president,” she said in a surprise announcement to White House reporters.

Top Counselor to Bush Leaving White House

White House counselor Karen Hughes will leave her post as counselor to President Bush effective this summer.

Hughes, 45, told reporters Tuesday that she wants to move her family back home to Texas so that she can spend time with her adult stepdaughter and granddaughter, and start her son, Robert, in high school.

“To be honest, I guess we’re a little homesick,” she said.

And, for reference purposes:

Karen Hughes, the Power Behind the Curtain

Senior presidential adviser Karen Hughes may be the most powerful woman ever in U.S. politics, but the major media don’t treat her that way. They spilled a lot of ink on politicos such as Hillary Clinton, Rosalynn Carter, and Eleanor Roosevelt–and still do. Yet the woman from Texas is largely ignored. How come?

Hughes was one of three top aides to George W. Bush in the Texas governor’s mansion. Along with Karl Rove, she has shaped Bush’s agenda, political strategy, and communications. She wrote his autobiography. During the campaign she hired two experienced Washington press secretaries, and fired one. Observers say that when Bush speaks in public, her lips move along with his. She is the most powerful shaper of the words and message of a president of the United States whose own command of the language seems weaker than average.

Hughes’s role in the Bush White House is somewhat more central than that of George Stephanopoulos in the Clinton White House. Yet in the first two months of 2001 Nexis finds that Hughes was mentioned 143 times in major newspapers, compared with 1,503 mentions of Stephanopoulos during the first two months of 1993.

So is the obscure Hughes really the most powerful woman ever in American politics despite her low profile in the media?

Thanks to Radley Balko for the links (that I stole).