If I were you, I would immediately turn your computer off rather than view any of the dreadful images, read any of the wretched information, play any of the unnerving games or examine the unpleasant books presented within this website.You gotta love the Series of Unfortunate Events.
Is your neighbor a terrorist? GASP! My girlfriend’s a terrorist!
Parents say kid’s thong is just plain wrong
Clothier selling skimpy skivvies for girls 10 and older
Calling it the “modern-day version of Underoos,” a national clothing company is selling thong underwear in children’s sizes - with the words “eye candy” and “wink wink” printed on the front.Critics say ‘Clones’ has racial stereotypesAbercrombie & Fitch, the same retailer that enraged parents last year with a summer catalog of teenage-looking models groping each other and in the nude, now offers several varieties of thongs at its Abercrombie stores, the division of the company for children 7 to 14 years old.
“It’s cute and fun and sweet,” said Hampton Carney, spokesman for the company based in New Albany, Ohio.
But some parents are far from tickled. In fact, they’re outraged.
George Lucas, sometimes accused of reinforcing racial stereotypes with his movies, has done it again, according to critics.I’m sorry, we’ll never make a “swarthy” guy look hispanic and be a bad ass ever again.Latino critics in particular charge his latest Star Wars epic, Episode II: Attack of the Clones, toys with American paranoia about Mexican immigration with its cloned army of swarthy lookalikes who march in lockstep by the tens of thousands, and ultimately end up serving as Darth Vader’s white-suited warriors.
Modeled on bounty hunter Jango Fett, the clones, we’re told, are genetically modified for docility and obedience. The breeding project, conducted by long-necked aliens who look like refugees from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, takes place on the planet Kamino — soundalike for the Spanish word “camino,” which means “road” or “I walk.”
Temuera Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is a New Zealander of Maori descent. But that didn’t get in the way of some members of an eight-person Detroit News panel assembled to review the film.
“He looked totally Latino,” says Martina Guzman, a Detroiter who’s managing a State House election campaign.
“And his kid,” says Wayne State history professor Jose Cuello, referring to the young Boba Fett, “looked even more Latino.”
George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States of America, and First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush wish to extend a warm and biblically intimate wartime welcome to WWW.WHITEHOUSE.ORG.
Na, Na, Na! “Fat Albert” Shelved
So maybe he’s not gonna sing a song for you, after all.PIPS:labYes, there’s bad news for fans of Fat Albert–preproduction on the live-action version of Bill Cosby’s beloved ‘toon has been halted thanks to that age-old Tinseltown bugaboo otherwise known as “creative differences.”
In this case, it was the Cos versus the film’s director, Forest Whitaker.
China plans base on the moon to exploit mineral resources: report
China, which is pushing ahead with a fledgling space program, plans to establish a base on the moon in order to exploit its mineral resources, state media reported Sunday.For Sale International Space Station (ISS) Experience“Our long-term goal is to set up a base on the moon and mine its riches for the benefit of humanity,” the Beijing Morning Post said, citing Ouyang Ziyuan, an official with the Chinese space program.
The official website for world renown hustler and best selling author Tariq “K-Flex” Nasheed! Fellas!!! Do you want to learn how to spit at females ?..Do you want to learn how to approach females in clubs,and other mingling spots?…Do you want to learn guaranteed ways to get sex from women?..Well you will learn all this and more by reading “The Art Of Mackin’”!! Ladies!!… Do you want to know what men REALLY say about females when you are not around?…Do you want to know which one of the “4 types of sistas” you are?…Do you want to learn the difference between a proffessional brotha and a potential “scrub”?…Well you can get up on game as well as the fellas by reading “The Art Of Mackin”!!Ben Affleck is Daredevil!!!
Why Does School Own Clone Patent?
A patent watchdog group has discovered that the University of Missouri holds a U.S. patent on human reproductive cloning and, potentially, clones.ANTI-TOMATO!!!!The International Center for Technology Assessment’s Patent Watch project turned up patent number 6211429, which was granted on April 3, 2001, and seems to give the University of Missouri intellectual property rights not only to cloning technology, but potentially any product — potentially a human being — created by cloning.
University officials were unavailable for comment, so it’s unclear whether it was their intention to garner a patent that would essentially clone a human being. But critics point out that it would have been a simple matter to specify that they were referring only to “non-human” cells at any point in the patent language, but they did not.
Cinema feels force of Star Wars anger
A cinema has blamed “technical difficulties” for a problem which infuriated Star Wars fans and led to the police being called.Human Head for SaleA row broke out at the Odeon cinema on Glasgow’s Springfield Quay during a midnight screening on Wednesday of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
About an hour into the showing, the film jumped to the end.
Angry fans, some dressed as their favourite characters in the movie, demanded an explanation but staff were unable to correct the fault.
Tempers overheated in the foyer and the police were called but no further action was taken.
A South African police sting operation has bagged a murderer and the human head he was trying to sell for use in traditional medicine, police said on Thursday.
Vanilla Coke Review So I picked up my first bottle of Vanilla Coke today and I’m still not sure what to make of it. Is it good? Kinda. The closest I can come to describing it is it’s like drinking the left over Coke of a Coke Float. Or, really, its more like the foam from a Coke Float, just a hint of Vanilla that grows the more you drink it and eventually can get overpowering. At first it’s a slight Vanilla, but the more you drink, the stronger it gets, almost to the point of too sweet. I’m not sure I can finish my bottle here.
I can see kids digging it, all 28 grams of sugar per serving (which a 20 oz bottle has 2.5 of) but I’m not sure adult taste buds can take it.
Would I recomend buying it? Sure, why not, give it a try, but I probably won’t get more than this one bottle myself, it’s just not my bag.
Here at Shite-Price - you can calculate how much your poo is really worth!! It’s Brittish so you have to convert.
Ronald McDonald tells us where burgers come from.
All from B3ta
1. What shampoo do you use?
Suave clear orange stuff. Basic, cheap and cleansing.
2. Do you use conditioner? What kind?
Nope.
3. When was the last time you got your hair cut?
About three weeks ago.
4. What styling products do you use?
LA Looks and a comb.
5. What’s your worst hair-related experience?
Every day. Except when I shaved my head, that was great. I want to do that again. A shaved head would make a happy J.
Back to the Drawing Board
Once-Banned Comic Books Now a Teaching Tool
Comic books used to be serious contraband in America’s public schools, covert reading that students would sneak under their textbooks and peruse during math lessons.Creative Commons is a non-profit organization founded on the notion that some people would prefer to share their creative works (and the power to copy, modify, and distribute their works) instead of exercising all of the restrictions of copyright law.They were irksome distractions that teachers would swoop in and banish the way they now outlaw compact disc players and hand-held video games.
Teachers today have a different philosophy. Comic books, no longer such a staple of youth, are now thought of as an old-fashioned way to encourage actual reading, drawing and writing in an age of passive, bottomless satellite-TV watching and Internet surfing.
Pentix The art of pen spinning
Spiderman v. Pentagon
Working Class Hero Battles Defense Contractors
Let’s not forget that Uncle Ben Parker at the beginning of Spider-Man has just been laid off from his job and tells his wife May that, “the corporations are down sizing the people and upsizing their profits.” Sounds like the 68-year-old Uncle Ben has more in common with those activists opposed to corporate dominated globalization of the economy than the KVI crowd who listens to Medved and his ilk every weekday. Uncle Ben has to sift through the daily newspaper ads to find work because he obviously doesn’t have the financial resources to retire. I guess one could conclude that the American Dream isn’t alive and well when a 68-year-old is still struggling to make ends meet for his wife and adopted nephew.Anti War Game Heh, I was assassinated. Now, this is complete propaganda, of course. I mean, with the name “Anti War Game” what would you expect? If you don’t increase military/business spending (they go hand in hand here) they’ll turn the media against you and have you assassinated. If you send troops over seas they sit there and smoke up. If you increase social or foreign spending, your popularity goes down. It’s completely bull and unrealistic (as if a small Flash game could be realistic) but it’s interesting to see.In fact, the anti-capitalist themes in Spider-Man are so obvious I’m surprised the film’s producers haven’t been put on Attorney General Ashcroft’s shit list of “supporters of terrorism” yet. Every single businessman the recent high school graduate Peter Parker/Spider-Man encounters are immoral and untrustworthy scumbags. Shortly after Peter Parker is endowed with his superpowers after he is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he sees an ad for a three minute fight contest for $3,000. He wants to put the $3,000 towards buying a car for the purpose of impressing his love interest and next door neighbor Mary Jane Watson. After Peter Parker/Spider-Man beats the shit out of “Bonesaw,” played by professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage, he goes up to the office of the fight promoter to collect his $3,000. The promoter only gives him $100. His reason for short changing Peter Parker $2,900? He was offering $3,000 for three minutes, and Spidey pinned Bonesaw in two.
Large-scale identity theft is painful reminder of risk
Ford Motor Credit Co. recently sent 13,000 people certified letters warning them that an unauthorized inquiry had been made on their credit reports and that they were now at risk for credit fraud and identity theft.Basically, the birminghamfreepress.com is a mixture of useful facts, amusing fictions, accurate news, satires, usually informed opinions, magical worlds, and hidden pleasures. Discovering which is which is part of the fun. The “hidden pleasures” of the site are everywhere, like secret doors in some funky mansion. Don’t be afraid to put that cursor in as many places as possible.The letters not only were a shock to the recipients but another painful reminder of how prevalent identity theft has become. It is the fastest-growing white-collar crime in America and is being conducted on a scale unthinkable just a few years ago.
My roommate and I went out to Toys R Us yesterday and bought Bio-Bugs, some sort of remote controled/AI bug things that are supposed to learn and fight and stuff like that. Souped up Giga Pets, really. They’re kinda cool. Didn’t get to play with them too much yesterday but I’ll have at them today and see what I can come up with.
I do know this. Jo-Jo (my Predator) is going to kick Hitler’s (his Stomper) ass.
Three new arrests in Pearl case
Three men were arrested Thursday in the murder investigation of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl. There were conflicting reports about whether the men had given police information leading to the location of Pearl?s body.Police were en route to Orangi, on the western edge of Karachi, where they were told they would find Pearl?s body, according to an Associated Press report citing an official who spoke on condition of anonymity.
But Pakistani police investigator Mir Zubair told NBC that news that the body had been discovered was false.
Police in Pakistan Find Body Said to Be Slain Reporter
Three men arrested Thursday in the slaying of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl directed police to where they said his body had been buried, a senior police official said.Police dug up a body in an open field in a poor neighborhood on the western edge of Karachi, the official said on condition of anonymity. The official said the body was not being removed from the site while the scene was being examined.
No further information was immediately available about the three new suspects.
Mystery Fever Strikes British Troops
British forces racing to find the cause of a mystery fever that has struck 18 soldiers at an Afghan air base evacuated another six men to the United Kingdom for emergency treatment Thursday, a British military spokesman said.No new cases have been reported.
“We still cannot categorically identify the source or nature of the infection,” Lt. Col. Ben Curry told reporters at Bagram air base, about 30 miles north of Kabul.
However, he said the contagious disease resembled enteric ? or intestinal ? febrile illness, which he said can show meningitis-like symptoms.
Mexico seeks stolen tractor-trailer with cyanide
Mexican police were searching Wednesday for a tractor-trailer carrying 10 tons of deadly cyanide stolen over the weekend after three armed men held up the vehicle north of Mexico City.Authorities have launched a public appeal, warning of the danger of cyanide and asking the thieves to surrender. It’s unclear whether the robbers were aware that the vehicle was carrying the chemical, police said.
The tractor-trailer, which was transporting the cyanide in 96 drums, was held up Friday on a stretch of highway near Ixmiquilpan in the state of Hidalgo, 150 miles north of the Mexican capital, federal police spokesman Oscar Hernandez said.
Court Rules Against Abortion Foes
A federal appeals court reversed course Thursday and ruled that anti-abortion activists who created Wild West-style posters and a Web site targeting abortion doctors can be held liable because their works amounted to illegal threats, not free speech.However, the sharply divided 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ordered a lower-court judge to reduce the $107 million in damages a Portland, Ore., jury awarded to four doctors who sued a dozen of the abortion foes.
Sorry for the news break, just felt the need.
We’re at an interesting juncture in publishing history. An individual can produce a book as polished as a corporate outlet can for about the same price. We’re at a point where we can reasonably look at what corporate media can offer us, and choose what best suits our needs as the cultural producers. This is quite new — since the supply of writers has always exceeded big publishing’s needs, the people that package and sell the writing have always had more power.Hitler’s Teeth
Gummi bears defeat fingerprint sensors
A Japanese cryptographer has demonstrated how fingerprint recognition devices can be fooled using a combination of low cunning, cheap kitchen supplies and a digital camera.First Tsutomu Matsumoto used gelatine (as found in Gummi Bears and other sweets) and a plastic mould to create a fake finger, which he found fooled fingerprint detectors four times out of five.
Flushed with his success, he took latent fingerprints from a glass, which he enhanced with a cyanoacrylate adhesive (super-glue fumes) and photographed with a digital camera. Using PhotoShop, he improved the contrast of the image and printed the fingerprint onto a transparency sheet.
Here comes the clever bit.
What the hell….
Anne Robinson: Americans Are Dumb
Anne Robinson, the flame-haired quiz show dominatrix, is not impressed. The Weakest Link is to be shelved in the United States as a result of declining audience figures and Anne, who has made no secret of her contempt for American intellect, is taking no prisoners.View for sale: $30,000America, You are the Weakest Link, Goodbye! “On one US show I asked a young soap star how many minutes there were in half an hour,” Anne says, wearily. “And she said 60.”
Many residents thought they owned the lake behind their $300,000 homes. They mowed up to the water line and chipped in yearly to treat the lake for algae blooms.Famous People who were arrested or who went to jailSo it came as quite a shock Thursday when workers began erecting a 6-foot-high fence around the lake, obliterating their view.
For good measure, the workers painted a portion of the fence behind Alice Beehner’s home bright pink and decorated it with sparkles.
Shelley was born in captivity at the Pittsburgh Zoo and raised on a steady diet of batteries and beer nuts. This is shown by the fact that she was silly enough to marry Rick.Rick was born in the midwest in a log cabin in the woods with 10 brothers and sisters John boy being the most successful. Raised in a 2′ x 2′ box and told repeatedly that Richard Nixon would be president one day contributed to an interesting childhood.
The Breatharian Institute of America
Sonya Fitzpatrick She’s a…. um….. pet psychic?
Dog:
Arf
Translation: I’m a dog.
Bark
Translation: I’m a dog
Bow wow wow
Translation: I’m a dog
Howl
Translation: I’m a dog
Damn, I need my own TV show on Animal Planet to share my talent.
Punks and Skins for Christ is here to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ! We want you to know that Christ is there for you. He loves you and accepts you, JUST AS YOU ARE! It doesn’t matter what you call yourself, Christ Loves you and wants you in His Kingdom. You can be a Christian AND a skinhead or punk. If you are already a Christian, please join in!! If you have not yet accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, please check us out. Email Us!!! Let us answer your questions and help you come to know what Jesus Christ can mean in your life!!
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Skinheads? Good? I’m sorry, hate it hate and while it doesn’t ban you from heaven, simply belief in God does not guarantee you access. I mean, come on! By this definition, that you simply must accept Jesus Christ as your savior and the Son of God and then you’re in Heaven, well, hell, most Satanists are goin’ to heaven cause, guess what? They believe in Jesus, they believe he’s the Son of God and probably their Savior, sure, but they don’t care, they’re praying to Satan cause he’s cooler. But since they got that belief thing down they’re saved!
AMEN!
Most of these guys are saved too!
AMEN!
But these guys are goin’ to HELL!!!!!!
AMEN!
Just like these guys who were there before they even finished dying!
Steve here is probably saved.
AMEN!
And even Bill will still make it to Heaven, dispite being a Cheating, Lying, Lusting, Conniving, Manipulative, Deceitful, Foolish, Exploitive, Lecherous, Egotistical, Perverse, Obstinate, Derisive, Abominable, Repulsive, Indignant, Obtuse, Moronic, Retarded, Bastard as long as he accepts Jesus into his heart.
AMEN!
Okay, I’m done with that.
And if all of that didn’t make God sick, I guess I could always try this.
I stole a lot of this from Everlasting Blort and Ultimate Insult. Love them by loving me.
I’m thinking of yet ANOTHER redesign. Man, I have a short attention span. And for someone who doesn’t like a lot of change, I sure as hell change this page more than I should.
What do you all think?
Turntable Hell Sweet.
Jason Kenney is done with school and running a radio station but he is still the Executive Director of RedStormPAC. For more on Jason, click here.
Twit: #TCOT For more on Joe Murray - http://friendsofjoemurray.com/ - http://tinyurl.com/9eay5p #
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