HEROES Fantasy Football League Year Two!

Yes, that’s right, folks, after Klone Mob’s success last year I felt this had to be done again to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. So, HEROES and J’s Notes are proud to present the HEROES League II through Yahoo Fantasy Sports.

Up to twenty teams will vie for the eight playoff spots and battle to see who is the best of the best. Care to take the challenge?

Go to http://fantasysports.yahoo.com and sign up for Fantasy Football. Click to JOIN a private league. Join League # 135239 and use the password “heroesmag” and then you can set your pre-draft rankings and get ready for some kick ass fantasy football.

You’ve got three weeks to join or until all twenty spots are filled so come get some!

Goats is a pretty good comic strip.

Japanese schoolage prostitutes use neat new camera cell phones to get some. Um… That’s about as funny as it’s going to get on my end, folks.

So let’s say you hijack Al Qaeda’s website and offer it to the FBI. What would you expect to happen? How about nothing. Yeah, seems this guy bought the Alneda.com domain name as soon as it was available and before Al Qaeda could renew it and at first put up the page with links to porn and stuff. Now it’s just a nice statement about how it now belongs to America.

Now, here’s the problem. Does this help OUR cause? I mean, pissed people go to this site expecting information on how to kill us and what not and now they’ll see “Hacked, tracked and NOW owned by the USA”. Oh, that’s going to make them so happy. Oh well.

According to the Brittish rag The Guardian, Saudi Arabia’s government is on the brink of collapse. Now, I don’t know about this. Sure, their support is questionable, especially if King Fahd passes away. Then you have to deal with his sons possibly vying for rule as well as the people possibly pushing for a change of some sort. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next few years.

A History of Pop

Planet Dumbass

“Let’s see if you’re going to Heaven or Hell,” said one man. “Okay,” said the other.

How NOT to eat with chopsticks.

Oh, wow. Here’s a picture of the jet that crashed into a crowd at a Ukraine air show a split second before it actually hit. Dear, Lord, that’s frightening.

Tag, You’re It is a site devoted to round robin writing. You know, you write one part, someone else another, then someone else, then you can come back, etc, etc, etc. Something like that.

Pepsi Blue sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. There’s even a blog out dedicated to it, but I think they like it. Ugh. Adbusters didn’t. Dr. Pepper Red Fusion, on the other hand, is pretty damn good. It’s pretty much more cherry in Dr. Pepper, and, unlike all these other crap variations, actually still has the taste of Dr. Pepper. Wow!

Hot lesbian pop.

My apologies for the lack of updates over the last couple of weeks. A combination of too much real life stuff on top of lack of good things to post create a pretty dull site, eh? Hopefully everything will be back to normal, whatever that is, soon enough.

Is my Blog HOT or NOT?

Now DC’s having to deal with UFO’s. Part of a terrorist plot? Or simply some sort of falling star? Maybe it was simply the glare off of my pale white ass.

Taps for TIPS? Operation TIPS appears dead. Yea! Now I can trust people again.

And this is some scary stuff. A 12 year old boy died after going swimming and becoming infected with some (thankfully) rare amoeba.

Wasn’t this in Fight Club? I mean, not the suing but the whole vibrating suitcase thingy. I think it was Fight Club. Some movie. Anyways, this lady’s suing Delta because she was forced to pull a sex toy out of her bag and hold it up after it started vibrating. She says she was humiliated. I would be too. But God forbit they make an effort to guarantee her safety and the safety of others. Sigh.

How Many Beers Would It Take to make this chicks look good? Interesting take on the “hot or not” stuff.

A bunch of monkeys raided a police station to rescue another monkey. Well, not really rescue, some guy shot the monkey’s mom and it refused to let go of it’s dead mum so the police took it in and what not and monkeys invaded the place to take the little guy away. I think. Yeah. I’m tired. Maybe this picture will help:

Take the Which Wonder Years Character are you? quiz by Ben.

Ailing Man Sues Fast-Food Firms

Want a class-action lawsuit with that burger?

A New York City lawyer has filed suit against the four big fast-food corporations, saying their fatty foods are responsible for his client?s obesity and related health problems.

Samuel Hirsch filed his lawsuit Wednesday at a New York state court in the Bronx, alleging that McDonald?s, Burger King, Wendy?s and KFC Corporation are irresponsible and deceptive in the posting of their nutritional information, that they need to offer healthier options on their menus, and that they create a de facto addiction in their consumers, particularly the poor and children.

“You don’t need nicotine or an illegal drug to create an addiction, you’re creating a craving,” Hirsch said. “I think we’ll find that the fast-food industry has not been totally up front with the consumers.”

Milosevic heart risk warning

Doctors have found Slobodan Milosevic is at risk of heart trouble and needs rest, according to U.N. war crimes judges who ordered fresh health tests for the former Yugoslav president.

A spokeswoman at The Hague told CNN on Thursday that Milosevic, on trial for war crimes including genocide, has been diagnosed as being “a man with serious cardiovascular risk.”

Doctors said Milosevic, 60, needed careful further monitoring and should be given a reduced workload, although the trial will continue as normal for the moment.

The House voted 420-1 last night to expell Rep. Trafficant. Now, I for one am going to miss him, the guy was a riot. But he did commit a crime that compromised his integrity and ability to do his job. Then again, the only difference between him and everyone else in this damn town is that he’s been caught.

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

The Microcontent News Blogging Software Roundup

A candy factory worker died after being submerged in a 1,200-gallon vat of liquefied chocolate, police said. That’s got to suck.

“Oh, sweet succulent chocolate…. Just one taste…. Mmmmmm….. AHHHHHH!!!!!” *SPLASH!* “Gaaaaaaaaa…. bubble bubble”

Sorry, how insensitive of me.

Now they’re finding entirely new species of bugs in New York. Kinda cool.

And now they’re making ice obsolete with a can that can cool itself. Will it hold beer?

Hello and good day to you, fellow American! You’ve reached the automated voice response system for TIPS.

Please choose from one of the following options:

- If you’d like to report suspicious behavior by a co-worker, press 1

- If you’d like to report suspicious behavior by a friend, press 2

- If you’d like to report suspicious behavior by a family member, press 3

- If you’d like to report suspicious behavior by yourself, press 4

Yeah, and next time you use your Ukrops Valued Customer Card or that Food Lion MVP Card, watch what you buy because it seems the government might. Cause if you buy all of the damn Chunky Monkey ice cream, the terrorist have won.

Did the Yankees fix games to pay off debts to the mob?

Why wait when you can torture someone right now with Instant Voodo!

Action Comics #1 This probably won’t be up for long…

Airstrike kills Hamas militant, 10 others

Israeli forces Monday night launched an F-16 airstrike in the heart of Gaza City, killing a top Hamas militant and at least 10 other people. Several of the dead were children.

The death of Salah Shehade — the leader in Gaza of the Izzedine al Qassam, the military wing of the militant Islamic group Hamas — was confirmed by Hamas on Tuesday morning.

Israel expressed regret at the loss of civilians but characterized the strike on Shehade as an act of self-defense.

Israel blamed Shehade for hundreds of terror attacks that caused scores of Israeli casualties.

You hear it all the time: “He was such a NICE Guy, and she’s such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him.”

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the “Nice Guy” have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that “Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea.”

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

One of the most fundamental rules of physics, the second law of thermodynamics, has for the first time been shown not to hold for microscopic systems.

The demonstration, by chemical physicists in Australia, could place a fundamental limit on miniaturisation, because it suggests that the micro-scale devices envisaged by nanotechnologists will not behave like simple scaled-down versions of their larger counterparts - they could sometimes run backwards.

The second law states that a closed system will remain the same or become more disordered over time, i.e. its entropy will always increase. It is the reason a cup of tea loses heat to its surroundings, rather than being heated by the air around it.

“In a typical room, for example, the air molecules are most likely to be distributed evenly, which is the overall result of their individual random motion”, says theoretical physicist Andrew Davies of Glasgow University. “But because of this randomness there is always a probability that suddenly all the air will bunch up in one corner.” Thankfully this probability is so small it never happens on human timescales.

FBI agents put their deductive skills to work in nabbing four people suspected of stealing a safe from NASA’s Johnson Space Center that contained tiny pieces of lunar soil and a famous Martian meterorite valued at more than $1 million.

“We put two and two together,” Houston FBI spokesman Bob Doguim said Monday. “We had missing rocks in Houston, and some people trying to sell them online.”

Two men and a woman were arrested in Orlando, Fla., over the weekend as America quietly marked the 33rd anniversary of the first Apollo mission. Another woman was arrested in Houston on Monday.

You Are Worth More Our purpose is clear, our premise is simple, the only thing missing is you. We are convinced that by attracting retail workers to this site, we can change how they are paid and treated. Frankly, neither condition is as good as it should be.

It wasn’t me…

Virginia man opens fires on helicopter, thinking occupants are terrorists, police say

A man armed with an assault-style rifle opened fire on a helicopter landing in a residential neighborhood, thinking the chopper was carrying terrorists, police said.

Helicopter pilot John S. Sutton landed his helicopter July 13 at the home of businessman John Peters to pick him up, police said.

John Chwaszczewski, a construction worker, became alarmed when he saw the chopper swoop down over his garage, about a block from Peters’ home.

“Maybe I overreacted, but I did feel this was terrorism at its utmost,” Chwaszczewski said.

Down she goes… Why is it that when the stock market dropped a few years back it was a “correction” then yet the drop now is a panic? I mean, isn’t this simply a correction of the market to more accurately reflect the actual state of these businesses?

Also, anyone else notice how the companies having the most trouble (Enron, WorldCom) are in industries recently deregulated (energy, telephone)?

And the nominees are…

RuPaul has a weblog

I’m in a better mood today. I think. I’m still waking up.

Google Mirror

Petition to stop Online Petitions

Online petitions have no effect on the real world. Any person with access to a computer can easily create a petition full of thousands of fake and/or stolen names. All that online petitions do is clog our email and waste our time.

Therefore, we the undersigned, if we exist, respectfully request that petitionsonline.com cease operations immediately.

You gotta love a site called Superstar Pimpin’

Yahoo is Editing Your E-Mail

I’m generally one who believes in the inherent goodness of mankind. Really. Maybe I’m just naive or misguided or, hell, maybe I’m right, but I usually believe people are, once you get down to it, pretty darn good.

And then humanity has to go and shatter my little pipe dream.

We got suicide bombers, we got men kidnapping, raping and killing five year old girls, we have grown men throwing kittens on a grill, we have people really really really pissing me off at the overall stupidity and cruelity to life and morals.

Why do people feel the need to be so evil? Why do people feel the need to do such horrible acts when it’s so easy to be good, to simply live life as a good thing and treat others with kindness and respect, the same way you’d want them to treat you.

And all of this starts to bum me out. People being bad. People I know, people I don’t know, all of it gets to me. It’s just one of those things I’ve dealt with my whole life, I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I feel like I can fix everything if only given the chance. It’s part of what makes me want to get into politics, it’s part of what makes me mediate every damn tiff my family might have, it’s part of what makes me get up in the morning when I really would just like to roll over and sleep in, it’s part of what makes me keep going when the world tries to tell me it’s not worth it, it’s useless, there’s nothing I can do, I’m only one tiny man with so many huge dreams.

Have you ever cried over the world’s suffering?

(I just posted this over at complex postcards and thought, hell, why not post it here as well. Generally I will not double post like this, but something makes me want to do it now.)

And if you needed more proof that people suck these days:

Dual suicide bombers kill 3 in Tel Aviv

Hey, guys, um, CUT IT OUT!!!!! For Christ’s sake, all this is doing is getting more and more people killed. So far these attacks have done nothing, NOTHING to further Palestine’s cause. It’s gotten their camps bulldozed, a big ass wall constructed, their economy gutted, and any hopes for an independent state greatly deminished. Holy crap, folks, how many time do you have to go back and forth on this? How many times do you have to get yourselves killed before you realize THIS IS NOT HELPING?!?!?!!!!

Man arrested for burning kitten on grill

Sheriff to killer: ‘We are coming after you’

Damn right, with a freakin’ oak tree ready to shove up the f***er’s ass. It’s times like this I question my stance against the death penalty because there is simply no excuse for these people and their actions. What kind of person kidnaps, rapes and kills a 5 year old girl? I swear, if any of you all see that bastard on the right there, let me know before you call the police so I can go beat the crap out of him. I will fly myself out to California to beat the living shit out of this guy. I can’t stand this kind of stuff.

Christ. And people wonder why I’m so down all the time.