OUCH! Damn, that’s gotta hurt. Props for goin’ on.

You take a bunch of drugs, okay? Then you get into an argument with your wife, right? So, what do you do? You cut off your right pinky, scrotum, penis and then your left hand. That’ll show her!

And how about them Royals? After two fans rush onto the field and start beating their first base coach they clear the bench and beat the crap outta the two guys. Damn right! Now the two guys are saying the coach provoked them. Whatever. Even if he did, that’s no freakin’ excuse. And what the hell kinda father runs onto a baseball field WITH HIS 15 YEAR OLD SON to beat someone up? Christ…

Warren Ellis has a blog. You’ll know who he is if you read comics.

The woman who beat the crap out of her four year old is going to turn herself in. Good. I hope they beat the crap out of her. Or something to that effect. How dare she?

Fun Dollar Bills WEEEE!!!!

Okay, they aren’t that fun.

American Elf: The Sketchbook Diaries of James Kochalka Great stuff.

Kevin Smith’s new flick Jersey Girl has a diary.

The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay got John Hiler to start thinking about the parallel between the early days of comics and blogs. Interesting observations.

Supposedly the war on terror was originally plotted by the George Bush Sr. administration in the mid-1980s. Yes, that’s right, mid-1980s. Which is weird considering he was president in the LATE 1980s (1988-1992). The article is written by one Ted Gunderson, a supposedly Retired FBI Senior Special Agent In Charge. Curious about his credentials, I did a Google search on his name. He is the author of The Illuminati and The New World Order, a report concerning payoffs and drug distribution by deputies in the small farmtown of Tulare, a video entitled “SATANISM & THE CIA: International Trafficking in Children”, and many other crackpot theories and what not. Please keep this in mind as you read…

JSKOnline got another small update today. Go check it out.

Woman rescues Crowe from bar brawl

Gladiator star Russell Crowe had to be rescued from a bar room brawl by a female karate champion, it has been reported.

Crowe, 38, who is notorious for his hot temper, challenged a group of drinkers in the Mexican resort of Rosarita Beach to a fight after one of them taunted him, British newspaper the Daily Star said.

The movie star looked as if he was set for a beating until his personal trainer, Lourene Bevaart stepped in.

Jesus Lives!

Adult Superstars Action Figures!

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee - I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can’t get fooled again.”

Thanks, Dubya, couldn’t have said it better myself.

How safe is your water?

Speed of light can be broken for about 500 bucks.

Evite: War On Iraq!!

Hello World Leaders! Come join us, The United States, as we wage war on Iraq, November 14th in Bagdad! It should be a good time: CNN is coming, and we have some really cool new missiles and stuff. Saddam is totally evil, so you’re not going to want to miss this!!!!

Dumb Warnings

Heat can make you gay! If you’re a fly, that is. Seems scientists have discovered that a slight change in temperature makes heterosexual male flies start courting other males. Now, the title of this article is misleading, “Gay flies turned on by heat”. Shouldn’t it be more like “Flies Turned Gay By Heat” or something? I mean, the title, as is, makes it sound like this pack of gay flies get raging libidos when it gets warm.

Author never dreamed fictional con would become a reality

Author Neil Gaiman says he’s looking forward to police solving the case of a fake armoured car guard who conned 48 businesses at a Winnipeg shopping centre out of their day’s receipts.

Police believe a novel by Gaiman, a popular fantasy writer, may have inspired the Aug. 30 Winnipeg sting, in which a man posed as a friendly armoured car guard, complete with bogus uniform and truck, to rip off the businesses. The thief apparently broke a key in the lock of the genuine deposit box so it wouldn’t work, then provided a fake box with Royal Bank decals, into which he collected more than $40,000 in cash.

“I am fascinated by this,” the award-winning British-born author said in a telephone interview Thursday.

“When I wrote it, never in my wildest dreams did I think anybody would do this.

“I’d love to know how he got his idea,” he added. “I can tell you, though, I don’t plan to write any more books about confidence men.”

I also updated JSKOnline yesterday. Go there and under writings and you’ll see a new Revolution X’s New X Men (written by Alex Cook but partially plotted by me) and the next two issues of Ultimate Marvel’s Spider-Man. Yea!

Molested Cars I see too damn many of these around these days. Don’t these guys have better things to do than sink their money into making shit cars look even worse? Tell you what, send ME your money and leave it at that.

Christ, who really thinks a huge ass spoiler and blue flames makes women moist?

BUY ME THIS STUFF!!!!! Please? Yeah, I updated my wish list as there’s quite a few things coming out I really really want. Beck, Ryan Adams and They Might Be Giants all have new CDs out while Michael Chabon tries his hand at children’s literature with Summerland and Chuck Palahniuk returns with Lulaby. All sorts of great stuff right at a time when I’m broke as hell. Sigh. Won’t you be all nice to me? I am an American Idle, after all. Shower me with gifts.