So let me get this straight. The United States is attempting to bully the United Nations into voting for a war with Iraq, trying to twist the arm of the Security Council and make the UN follow their will. Yet France’s behind the scenes manipulations are not bullying at all, oh no, not even when they say that those siding with the United States threaten their place in the European Union. That’s not bullying, that’s not an attempt to force the UN to bend to their wishes. No, you see, France is trying to save something! No one nation has a right to ‘dictate’ policy to the United Nations. Correction, the UNITED STATES is not allowed to ‘dictate’ policy, but France can, that’s okay.

And NATO. How dare the United States try to drive policy there as well. Who do they think they are? They are the ones destroying the alliance. How dare they attempt to actually follow the basic agreements of the alliance and provide protection for a member that is at risk? Cause defending an ally from a possible attack is sanctioning that attack, right? Wow, thanks for clearing that up France, good thing you and Germany and Belgum where there to tell the other TWELVE members what to do, despite them voting FOR protecting Turkey. Too bad the rest of them found a way around your best efforts in the fight against evil.

All this fighting because, hey, France only want’s peace.

Because they want to ignore the man that sits comfortably inside Iraq thumbing his nose at the United Nations, the man who has slaughtered countless numbers of his own people, the man who has taken advantage of no less than 14 UN Resolutions over the last 12 years, the man they want to give at least six more months to comply with the FIFTEENTH resolution (or more, one can lose count so easily).

Because they want to represent the masses that march for peace. Yes, that’s right. Cause if even one million people take to the streets of New York, that’s enough for the world to have to stop. Yes, one million Americans out of 280 MILLION marching means we must stop. Because 1/280th of the American population marches chanting ‘no blood for oil’ means that the United States is obviously in this for the wrong reasons. It means that we are in the for the oil and France, who has spent the twelve years watering down UN sanctions and resolutions against Iraq in order to set up future oil deals with the current government, are not interested in oil at all. No, they care about the human toll such a war would take. Nevermind the human toll avoiding the war will take.

Nevermind the Iraqis who have died already, are dying, will continue to die under Saddam. Nevermind that France want’s oil from Saddam’s government no matter how much Iraqi blood is spilled under his rule. That’s not ‘blood for oil’ no, that’s ‘oil for peace’!

How arrogant of the United States to think that it could enforce United Nations resolutions and liberate a suffering people. How noble of France to stand up to the United States and threaten to veto a resolution presented to the United Nations Security Council even if nine of the fifteen members vote for it or even forteen of the members.

France, that brave little former great colonial power that still exerts its influence over African nations and wishes to be the one to dictate international policy, is such a brave and honorable country.

It’s so clear now.

Nobel laureate urges Europe to confront Saddam

Nobel Peace laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, after meeting with President George W. Bush at the White House on Thursday urged Europe to confront Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

“I believe it is the moral duty to intervene when evil has power and uses it,” Wiesel said.

“If Europe were to apply as much pressure on Saddam Hussein as (it) does on the United States and Britain, I think we could prevent war,” he said.

Ivanov: Russia ready to veto U.S.-British resolution on Iraq to protect `international stability’

Russia is ready to veto a U.S.-British resolution under discussion in the U.N. Security Council authorizing war against Iraq if such a step is necessary to preserve “international stability,” Foreign Minister Igor Ivanov said Friday.

“Russia has the right to a veto in the U.N. Security Council and will use it if it is necessary in the interests of international stability,” Ivanov said at a news conference.

Stole this from my bro Shaun who took it from Glenn Reynolds.

‘Mister Rogers’ dies at age 74

Television host Fred Rogers, better known simply as “Mister Rogers,” died Thursday after a brief battle with stomach cancer, according to a spokeswoman for his production company.

Rogers, 74, died at his home in Pittsburgh. He is survived by his wife Joanne Rogers, their two sons and two grandsons, according to his Web site.

Marisa Lynch, who has worked for Family Communications Inc. for nearly 20 years, said she was in shock.

“We just learned about his illness in January,” she said. “Luckily, he didn’t suffer.”

Oof. That sucks.

Effectiveness of protesters questioned

But according to a study by political science graduate student Phil Gussin, the opinions of people who conditionally supported war changed toward favoring war when shown photographs of Bush and then of anti-war demonstrators.

“If anti-war demonstrators are trying to gather support by having their pictures shown, they are having the opposite effect,” Gussin said.

Subjects who were shown pictures of the president had a seven percent higher approval rating for Bush compared to those who were shown other, non-political pictures, Gussin said. Subjects shown pictures of Bush and anti-war photographs had a 15 percent higher approval rating than the control group, Gussin said.

Not only does the timing of the anti-war demonstrations appear to be off to some, but others say protesters are not realistic about what they are accomplishing.

“There are always protesters who know what they’re talking about, but from what I’ve seen it’s just a bunch of slogans,” Riha said.

This judge was Ready!

Students for War

Students for War is an ad-hoc committee established to build support across America for military action against the murderous regime of Iraq’s Saddam Hussein.

Let us be clear — we regret immensely the pain and suffering that inevitably result from armed conflict. However, we feel the events of September 11th demonstrate clearly the terrible cost of inaction in the face of danger from America’s avowed enemies.

If the United States would have have acted decisively against Al Qaeda bases in Afghanistan before September 11th, the tragic events of that day might well have never taken place. Thousands of Americans who died that day ? mothers, fathers, children and students — would still be alive.

Instead, our government hoped for the best while the danger posed by Al Qaeda grew.

In 1993, Al Qaeda trained the murderers of 18 American soldiers in Somalia.

In 1996, Al Qaeda bombed the Khobar Towers in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia, killing 19 Americans and injuring 500 others .

In 1998, Al Qaeda bombed the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, killing 223 and injuring thousands.

In 2000, Al Qaeda bombed the U.S.S Cole, nearly sinking it and killing 17 American sailors.

Yet, even as the threat posed by Al Qaeda grew, the American response remained primarily diplomatic. Talk, talk, and more talk. Al Qaeda continued to operate openly from bases in Afghanistan, building their worldwide terrorist network and preparing to turn U.S. airlines into weapons of mass destruction.

Finally, our government’s inaction caught up with us. On September 11, 2001, Al Qaeda hijacked four airliners, destroyed the World Trade Center, damaged the Pentagon and killing thousands Americans.

Looks to me that someone’s trying to blame the Clinton administration for allowing this to happen. Perhaps this is not from a lack of military action on our part but because of a certain direction our foreign policy has taken in the region for the last thirty years? Maybe?

The war against Iraq has NOTHING to do with Al Qaeda. Osama hates Saddam more than we do and Saddam would never give weapons to Al Qaeda because they’ll eventually use them against him. Any association is one of convienience that we forced upon them.

Student’s Protecting America

In recent months the “anti-war” movement has claimed to represent the voice of the world, and particularly of students and youth. Our purpose in founding Students for Protecting America is to declare that these groups do not speak for everyone. We believe that in the aftermath of September 11, Americans can no longer remain complacent in the face of terrorism and the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction among rouge states. The threat we face is as grave as any that we have encountered. We support the Bush Administration’s efforts to defend America and defeat terrorism. We believe Iraq poses a dire threat and should be disarmed immediately.

A little more PC, but still missing the point. Iraq does not pose a direct and dire threat to America, not immedeaetly nor in the near future. It does poes a threat to our interests (oil, Israel, etc) but America itself is not at risk because, as I said above, Iraq and Al Qaeda are not the best of buds. Any attack on Iraq needs to rest on an argument of human rights backed by the facts that Saddam has let his people suffer and die while he continued to build palaces and thumb his nose at the international community. He allows his people to starve because he wants to remain in power. He is a dictator that chooses to make his own people suffer for his own personal advancement and on those reasons above all others we should remove him. In my opinion.

Bible verses regarded as hate literature

Court rules Scripture exposed homosexuals to ridicule

Certain passages of the Bible can be construed as hate literature if placed in a particular context, according to a Canadian provincial court.

The Court of Queen’s Bench in Saskatchewan upheld a 2001 ruling by the province’s human rights tribunal that fined a man for submitting a newspaper ad that included citations of four Bible verses that address homosexuality.

A columnist noted in the Edmonton Journal last week that the Dec. 11 ruling generated virtually no news stories and “not a single editorial.”

Imagine “the hand-wringing if ever a federal court labeled the Quran hate literature and forced a devout Muslim to pay a fine for printing some of his book’s more astringent passages in an ad in a daily newspaper,” wrote Lorne Gunter in the Edmonton, Alberta, daily.

Under Saskatchewan’s Human Rights Code, Hugh Owens of Regina, Saskatchewan, was found guilty along with the newspaper, the Saskatoon StarPhoenix, of inciting hatred and was forced to pay damages of 1,500 Canadian dollars to each of the three homosexual men who filed the complaint.

I’m torn here. Truthfully, anything can be bent to represent one’s views and therefor construed as hate literature, but, technically, these people ARE using the Bible to incite hate. And, like I said earlier last week CONCERN YOURSELVES WITH GOD’S TOP TEN BEFORE YOU WORRY ABOUT HIS SIDE NOTES!!!!! Christ, when was the last time you saw a religious campaign against lying or stealing or adultry? God put those in the Ten for a reason folks, worry about those first and cover your own asses before you start attempting to tell other’s they’re damned.

Isn’t passing judgment a sin? I think Jesus himself said something about not doing that. Yeah, and I think it was a bit more literal and forward with a lot less to be loss to translation.

Transplant Teenager’s Family Criticized for Refusing to Donate Girl’s Organs

Jesica Santillan’s family grieves her death after a botched heart-lung transplant and a rare second one, they have become the target of criticism for refusing to make the girl an organ donor herself.

“We have received several scathing e-mails from people who are concerned that the family refused to donate Jesica’s organs,” said Mack Mahoney, head of the foundation created to pay for the girl’s medical bills.

Like most details surrounding Jesica’s death and the bungled transplant that preceded it, survivors and doctors at Duke University Medical Center differed Monday on why a family that benefited from two transplants in as many weeks would refuse to donate organs.

One medical ethicist said the criticism is unfair.

“My bottom line is - let the family grieve now,” said Thomas Murray, president of The Hastings Center, a medical ethics think tank in Garrison, N.Y. “It’s a horrendous thing to lose a child.”

Laura Wright, who received a transplant of a kidney and a pancreas six years ago and heads a Charlotte transplant support group, said she doubted that any of Jesica’s organs could have been reused.

“You’ve got tubes and wires everywhere,” she said, “and the amount of drugs they pump through you is astronomical.”

Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Those organs are pretty well worn by now. What a horrible tragedy, though.

Pornography goes from XXX to zzz

‘Pop Porn’ now has become part of everyday lives (Ha, ‘pop porn’, get it? Like ‘pop corn’ only with a second ‘p’? Oh, MSNBC, you crack me up.)

The popularization of pornography is everywhere. In the suburbs, the shopping mall, the movie theater, the radio, the television, our living rooms: Pop Porn.

It’s in the news: Brian Heidik, winner of “Survivor: Thailand,” starred in soft-core porn movies. George Mason University grad Sarah Kozer, a finalist on “Joe Millionaire,” acted in bondage videos. Have you heard “Porn Again,” a rap CD by the Smut Peddlers? How about the interviews with porn stars on Howard Stern’s morning drive-time radio show? Have you seen the Porn Star T-shirts teenagers wear?

“Pornography has lost its political purposes and is now ‘naturalized’ as just another form of representation,” says Lynn Hunt, author of “The Invention of Pornography” and a professor of history at UCLA.

“Years ago, you could think it was somebody else’s problem,” says Bruce A. Taylor, president and chief counsel of a Fairfax-based anti-porn group, the National Law Center for Children and Families. “It was a big city problem. A guy problem. A dirty old man problem. But the Internet has put hard-core movies in everybody’s home.”

Well thank God we have fine organizations like Fox who are willing to stand up and stay ‘no more!’

Rules of Cock Blocking and the Penalties Thereof

A. Cock Block Defined

Cock Block /kok-blok/ v. 1. To interfere with or obstruct another’s attempt at courtship. 2. To delay impending romantic activity between two individuals.

Cock-blocker /kok-blok-er/ n. 1. Someone who takes part in the act of cock-blocking.

Are Software Salvagers Criminals or Heroes?

Piracy is a black-and-white issue: Using software without owning the license for it is theft. But supporters of a new type of piracy believe they have found a gray area: abandonware. Distributors of abandonware define it as software that is at least five years old and is no longer being sold or supported by its publisher. Abandonware pirates don’t see themselves as lawbreakers. Software publishers vehemently disagree.

There are more than 100 abandonware sites offering up to 1,000 software titles, predominantly games but also applications and operating systems, free for download. Although these Web sites have existed since the early 1990s, antipiracy groups have only recently begun to target abandonware. Despite their efforts, however, abandonware piracy continues to thrive as more and more people take advantage of the abundance of free software.

Piracy costs the software industry billions of dollars annually. But, abandonware pirates argue, if publishers are no longer promoting a product, profiting from its sale, or even supporting it, then there’s no harm in distributing abandonware. Software publishers see it differently, saying that abandonware piracy is in violation of copyright law, clear and simple.

Wait, so if you’re not selling it or making any money off of it anymore through any of your efforts, what’s the big deal? If it’s “obsolete” or not even worth your effort to sell it, why not let it fall into the public domain?

The GOP Home Shopping Network

That most lamentable duct tape suggestion last week by a Homeland Security official — which drove countless panicked citizens out to buy the product — has been widely derided as useless and pretty crazy.

But maybe not so crazy. Turns out that nearly half — 46 percent to be precise — of the duct tape sold in this country is manufactured by a company in Avon, Ohio. And the founder of that company, that would be Jack Kahl, gave how much to the Republican National Committee and other GOP committees in the 2000 election cycle? Would that be more than $100,000?

His son, John Kahl, who became CEO after his father stepped down shortly after the election, told CNBC last week that “we’re seeing a doubling and tripling of our sales, particularly in certain metro markets and around the coasts and borders.” The plant has “gone to a 24/7 operation, which is about a 40 percent increase” over this time last year, Kahl said. The company had more than $300 million in sales in 2001.

GASP! Our security is riding on political favors!!!!

What to do with all that extra duct tape. Make purses and sell them.

Overboard Shoes Drifting Toward Alaska

Thousands of pairs of Nike basketball shoes are washing up on beaches from Washington state to Alaska after spilling from a container ship in Northern California.

There’s just one hitch to finding a free pair.

Deal May Freshen Up Google’s Links

Google’s recent purchase of Pyra Labs, creators of the Blogger service for publishing the online soapboxes known as Weblogs, was a happy ending for a much-loved startup that at times seemed on the edge of collapse.

But people who follow Weblogs are curious about what Google, the world’s leading search engine, expects to gain from the deal.

The combination of Pyra and Google seems unlikely on the surface. Google helps people find information online, while Blogger helps them publish it.

People with knowledge of the deal, which gave Pyra founders and investors shares in privately held Google, say it was signed without any real plan as to how the two companies would work together.

But leading bloggers were bursting with ideas last week. Many said that by tapping into Weblogs, or blogs, which link to and comment on the freshest material on the Web, Google will be able to build more human intelligence and timeliness into its already formidable search engine.

Why Did Google Want Blogger?

Forget war and strife, the only news that mattered on the Web this week was Google’s acquisition of Pyra Labs, the scrappy San Francisco startup behind the Blogger weblogging tool.

News of Pyra’s sale for an undisclosed sum broke on Feb. 14, but details about the deal have so far been scant. Neither Google nor Prya is saying much about it. Evan Williams, Pyra’s co-founder, blogged his day-to-day life for the last three years right up until it got interesting. Williams pulled his blog offline earlier this week.

Meanwhile, thousands of weblogs and weblog indexes like Daypop and Blogdex have been loaded with debate about what the deal meant for the Web, for searching and for blogging. The acquisition has puzzled some onlookers: what would a search company want with a tool for making weblogs?

The world wants to know!

Police: Snowball fight led to girl’s shooting

A man whose daughter was hit with a snowball by a group of girls returned to the scene and opened fire with a gun, critically wounding a 10-year-old youngster, police said.

Joseph Best, 32, was arrested Monday and jailed on charges including attempted murder.

The victim was in critical condition with a head wound.

Best’s daughter was hit with a snowball as she and her friends walked past a group of girls having a “friendly snowball fight” Sunday, police Capt. Charles Bloom said.

A scuffle then broke out among the dozen or so girls, who ranged in age from 10 to 15. The groups soon parted ways, but Best returned with an older daughter and another brawl erupted, this time between adult relatives of both groups, Bloom said.

Police broke up that fight, but said Best came back again hours later, leaned out the passenger side of a moving car and fired at least five shots into the group of children still playing on the street. Authorities were trying to determine who was driving.

Damn.

Iraqi-Americans urge U.S. to oust Saddam

In an answer to this month’s worldwide war protests, some 500 Iraqi-Americans on Sunday urged one of President Bush’s top military strategists to topple Saddam Hussein.

U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz assured them that American military might would come with even greater humanitarian help for people under Saddam’s grip.

“When Saddam Hussein and his regime are but a memory, the United States is committed to helping the Iraqi people establish a free, prosperous and peaceful Iraq,” Wolfowitz told the crowd at Dearborn’s Fairlane Club.

The pledge was welcomed by members of the Iraqi Forum for Democracy, which organized the event. The group warned that failure to follow through with aid could undermine the Bush administration.

“Twelve years ago, the Iraqi people would have welcomed liberation,” said Feisal Istrabadi. “The margin for error is much smaller this time.”

Wolfowitz left open the possibility of a peaceful resolution. But in an interview with The Detroit News before the meeting, he predicted Iraqis would welcome U.S. troops if there was an invasion.

Well, I hardly think 500 Iraqi-American’s are a large enough response to thousands of protestors, but it is important to note that there do seem to be more Iraqi’s supporting the war than opposing it, but for humanitarian reasons. If the war was about saving the Iraqi people from Saddam and presented as such, it would be supported a hell of a lot more by the world.

The New York Post points out that Not In Our Name “relies on tax-exempt foundations that in the past have been - and today still are - affiliated with a variety of radical causes, including the defense of convicted murderer Mumia Abu-Jamal, support for Fidel Castro’s regime in Cuba and involvement with figures linked to Middle Eastern terrorism.“

Woman Takes Bite Out Of Man’s Scrotum

Although Valentines Day is Friday, one couple’s love-bites got out of hand, to the point where they both had to go to the hospital.

While this may not be a Wayne and Lorena Bobbitt case it does come close: very close.

54 year old William Frank Reese didn’t want to be interviewed on-camera, and you can probably understand why.

He says his live-in house keeper, 39 year old Tommie Lorene Burnette, bit him in his thigh and penis, and then chewed off a chunk of skin from his scrotum.

Eek!

What Now?

“The United States of America Has Gone Mad,” announced a headline in The Times of London on January 15. This was at first glance worrisome, but at second less so, because the article turned out to be not a news report but an opinion column. It was the opinion, specifically, of John le Carré that “America has entered one of its periods of historical madness, but this is the worst I can remember: worse than McCarthyism, worse than the Bay of Pigs and in the long term potentially more disastrous than the Vietnam War.”

Le Carré said that “the freedoms that have made America the envy of the world are being systematically eroded,” the principal evidence being that, as concerns war with Iraq, “the combination of compliant US media and vested corporate interests is once more ensuring that a debate that should be ringing out in every town square is confined to the loftier columns of the East Coast press.”

Ah, that madness: we aren’t talking enough. As events moved closer to war with Iraq in December and January, the complaint grew among people (mostly of the left) who are strongly opposed to such a war that what had gone wrong was much due to a lack of informed debate, and that this, in turn, was much due to the refusal of a corrupt White-House-and-Wall-Street-mastered media to allow such debate.

Matthew Wallace Kenney was born to Shaun and Missy this morning, so now I’m an uncle twice over. Yea!

By Jac Milnestein’s New Book He’s a damn good author I work with at Artifice Comics and totally worthy of having money thrown at him.

So Dick Gephardt announced his desire to seek the presidency a couple days ago. Normally I’d just shurg and be like, “Yeah, you and everyone else, Dick,” but something caught my eye.

Establishing an International Minimum Wage

Based on the imperative of protecting both human dignity around the world and American jobs here at home, I think we should establish an international minimum wage. The World Trade Organization should establish an international standard for a minimum wage.

The creation of such a wage would guarantee that workers all over the world earn a livable wage. It also would keep U.S. workers competitive in the global marketplace. Countries could offset lower wages with trade concessions, and more developed nations would share in the burden facing less developed nations.

Bastard stole my idea! Well, not really. I mean, unless he’s just not saying it, I would have proposed tax cuts as well as an increase in the American minimum wage to a living wage with a freeze on inflation for a couple years. This would allow businesses to afford these higher wages and keep the cost of goods in check so they don’t grow at the same rate as wages, making the ‘living wage’ just higher in ammount, but comparable in buying power.

Interesting proposal, though, especially off the bat in a campaign.

You better watch out I’m teling you why, Bible Thumper are coming to town! Hell, they’re already here. But this is the breed that HATES. Their name even says as much.

Yes, the fine folks from Westboro Baptist Church who run the lovely website God Hates Fags are coming to Fredericksburg, Virginia to protest the “dyke-infested Mary Washington College, demon-possessed Pres. Wm. Anderson Jr., sodomite Dept. of Theatre & Dance (Gregg Stull, Chair), and fag-Capitol Washington, D.C. — at The Laramie Project, Klein Theatre, duPont Hall, Mar. 1 & 7 p.m., Mar. 2 & 1 p.m., Fredericksburg, Va.” (WARNING: PDF file that doesn’t want to work well).

Oh, this site is the home of such wonders as “God Blew Up Columbia!” and “All nations must immediately outlaw sodomy (homosexuality) & impose the death penalty!” (PS - sodomy incudes anal and oral sex, it is not exclusive to homosexuals and, well, a lot of good Christian folks would be executed under such laws, just as God intended!)

Damn, the things people do in the name of God.

People, God spoke to Moses and handed down ten rules that, while not the end all, be all of faith, really stand as the most important rules of all. Sure the first couple are “I’m GOD, God damn it, give me props!” but the rest make a lot of sense. Don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t sleep with someone’s spouse, be good to your parents, and so on. I don’t recall any comandment saying “thou shalt not make love to one of your own sex”. Hell, not even the oft called 11th Comandment refers to it. You know, the Golden Rule, “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You”. What, you forgot that one? Obviously. Why don’t you start enforcing and FOLLOWING the ten biggies that God laid out before you start on your crusade against all things “evil”.

So this God that says gays are evil is the same one who said “treat others as you would treat me” and “hey, don’t stone that person to death cause, well, JUDGE FUCKING NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!!!!” (empahsis mine).

And these assholes seem to really not like Matthew Shephard. I’m sorry, but the sin committed against him is far graver than the sin he may have been committing himself. THOU SHALT NOT KILL! I know that’s in God’s Top Ten List somewhere. And you should too.

I’m sorry, this is not what God would want, nor what he intended. God is many things, but at the core He is LOVE and TRUTH. Where these exist, so does God. Where they are absent, so does the absense of God’s blessing. Where in hating gays is there love? Love of God? But if the love of God leads to hate, then is that not a sin or a failure of a test on your part? God would rather the hate be shelved and that you simply accept people for what they are, use your kindness as a tool to show that God is caring, whether or not one changes their way. Who are we to force people to change? Our concern should be for the salvation of our own souls. And that comes simply from us seeking the truth for ourselves and learning to love despite what has been done to us (”forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us”).

Let God be the judge and cover your own asses.

Magnetic J’s Notes Poetry

No Ill Effects Seen in Smallpox Shot Volunteers

There have been no adverse events seen so far among civilians participating in the US smallpox vaccination program, according to a government report released Thursday.

Between January 24th and February 14th of this year, 4,213 civilian healthcare workers were inoculated with the smallpox vaccine, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes in its Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report for Feb. 21.

As of February 18th, only seven people have reported non-serious adverse events, which included fever, rash, malaise, itchiness, high blood pressure and sore throat. “Some or all of these events might be coincidental,” according to the CDC.

Oh my God! QUIT THE VACCINATIONS BEFORE YOU KILL US ALL!!!!!!!

Pre-movie ads rip off theatergoers, suits claim

How much is three to four minutes of your time worth–especially when you’re waiting for the latest “Lord of the Rings” movie to start?

That question was posed in two lawsuits filed Tuesday against movie theaters that claim in their ads they’ll show movies at a certain time, but, instead, show on-screen commercials at the advertised time, delaying the movie’s start.

Theaters are committing consumer fraud when they claim in advertising that a movie starts at a certain time but it really starts a few minutes later because of the ads, said Mark Weinberg, a Chicago attorney who filed the two suits.

“They deceive you into thinking a movie starts on time in order to create a captive audience,” Weinberg said. “People are actually paying good money to watch commercials.”

Can you say “frivilous”? I know you can. (The question is, can I spell it?)

The Museum of Black Superheroes It’s a small site, really.

Defunct Sweedish Boy Bands

Model Rocket fans are threats to Homeland Security

Are you Ready?

Virtual March for Victory

French fries are out, freedom fries are in

You can get fries with your order at Cubbie’s, but just don’t ask for french fries.

“Because of Cubbie’s support for our troops, we no longer serve french fries. We now serve freedom fries,” says a sign in the restaurant’s window.

Owner Neal Rowland said the switch from french fries to freedom fries came to mind after a conversation about World War I days when anti-German sentiment prompted Americans to rename familiar German foods like sauerkraut and frankfurter to liberty cabbage and hot dog.

Rowland said his decision to change the name of french fries reflects a political sentiment that comes as Americans watch France backs away from support for war in Iraq.

“Everyone wants to have their freedom fries. They’re going right along with it,” said waitress Amy Foster, who cleared tables after the first lunch crowd to hear about the menu revision.

But Rowland said his intent is not to slight the French people, but to take a patriotic stance to show his support for the United States and the actions of President Bush.

Oh, darn, can’t have that French delicacy any more!

Hugo Chavez helps Al Qaeda?

JUST SHUT UP!

Nobody gives a shit what anti-war or pro-war writers think. Really. So shut up. That goes double for poets. Shut the hell up, poets. Everybody just shut up.

In recent issues, patrons of this tawdry but readable newspaper have endured a long, shrill antiwar essay from Ted Rall and a short, grumpy pro-war essay from Christopher Hitchens. One would think that’s enough war writing, in any publication, for any lifetime.

But last week, The Stranger’s editor sent me an e-mail. In response to Hitchens and Rall, he wanted me to write something called, provisionally, “Who Cares?” Impossible, I said. The U.S. is about to unleash the biggest military assault of my lifetime, an action that could plunge the world into apocalyptic chaos. I do care, and I’d be an idiot if I didn’t. I’m totally against the war 70 percent of the time, and then once in a while I think, well, the planet’s already dying. Let war rip and see what happens.

At the same time, so what? Do you really want to hear what I think? Do you really want to hear what any writer thinks about our upcoming war with Iraq? I don’t. Suddenly I had the idea for this piece, which officially begins now:

Shut up, antiwar people. Shut up, pro-war people. Shut down your computers and shut your goddamn pieholes. No one gives a shit what you write, so stop writing about the war. Shut up, all of you.

Why Nerds Are Unpopular

Thanks to my bros Shaun and Art for coming and digging my ass out today.