Tree That Give Meat Instead Of Fruit!

Here’s some good news that vegetarians can really sink their teeth into: Researchers have developed genetically engineered fruit trees that bear real meat!

Fruit from the new Meat Trees, developed by British scientists using gene-splicing technology, closely resembles ordinary grapefruit. But when you peel the large fruit open, inside is fresh beef.

Uh… Ewwwww….

How does Dyson make water go uphill?

James Dyson’s uphill water feature has been the striking image of this year’s Chelsea Flower Show. But how did he do it?

It certainly beats your common or garden water feature.

Inventor James Dyson, he of the bagless vacuum cleaner, has stolen the headlines from the gardeners at this year’s Chelsea Flower Show with his “Wrong Garden”.

A set of four glass ramps positioned in a square clearly show water travelling up each of them before it pours off the top, only to start again at the bottom of the next ramp.

It is a sight which defies logic, and has become probably the most memorable image of this year’s show.

He doesn’t, really. Just looks that way.

Creditors Seize Jet, Passengers Stranded

Creditors on Tuesday seized an airplane operated by the cash-strapped airline, BWIA, stranding passengers scheduled to fly from Miami to Trinidad, a company official said.

Officials from the International Lease Finance Corp. seized the Boeing 737 at Miami International Airport because of overdue payments, BWIA spokesman Clint Williams said. BWIA officials are negotiating with the lease company to have the plane returned and are looking for ways to help the 103 passengers, he said.

I don’t know whether to laugh or pity…

Science Confirms: Politicians Lie

After intensive research, scientists have concluded that politicians lie.

In a study described in Britain’s Observer newspaper, Glen Newey, a political scientist at Britain’s University of Strathclyde, concluded that lying is an important part of politics in the modern democracy.

“Politicians need to be more honest about lying,” he told the newspaper.

According to Newey, whose findings were published by the government-funded Economic and Social Research Council, voters expect to be lied to in certain circumstances, and sometimes even require it.

“Politics should be regarded as less like an exercise in producing truthful statements and more like a poker game,” he said. “And there is an expectation by a poker player that you try to deceive them as part of the game.”

Newey said lying by politicians can occasionally be entirely justified, such as when national security is at risk, and the public even has a “right to be lied to” in cases where they do not expect to be told the whole truth, such as during a war.

But the main cause of lying is increased probing by the public into areas that the government would rather not discuss candidly. If voters only asked fewer questions, politicians would tell them fewer lies.

Bill Clinton famously lied about his affair with Monica Lewinsky, while earlier philandering U.S. presidents never had to lie about their affairs, because nobody ever asked.

“When journalists or parliamentary colleagues start to probe at that area which the government wants to keep secret, you are more likely to be pushed further and further toward the territory of lying,” Newey said.

Jayson Blair Talks: ‘So Jayson Blair Could Live, The Journalist Had to Die’

“That was my favorite,” Jayson Blair said. It was the morning of Monday, May 19, and the disgraced former New York Times reporter was curled in a butterfly chair in his sparsely furnished Brooklyn apartment. He was eating a bagel and talking about one of his many fabricated stories—his March 27 account, datelined Palestine, W.Va., of Pvt. Jessica Lynch’s family’s reaction to their daughter’s liberation in Iraq.

Mr. Blair hadn’t gone to Palestine, W.Va. He’d filed from Brooklyn, N.Y. As he’d done before, he cobbled facts and details from other places and made some parts up. He wrote how Private Lynch’s father had “choked up as he stood on the porch here overlooking the tobacco fields and cattle pastures.”

That was a lie. In The Times’ lengthy May 11 account of Mr. Blair’s long trail of deception, it reported that “the porch overlooks no such thing.”

Mr. Blair found this funny.

I don’t know, but I think this guy’s fucked in the head. I haven’t commented on the Blair thing yet because, well, I haven’t had time or really cared, but I think I may have something to say later. Off to work.

Russia Preparing for Nuclear Attacks on U.S, Britain

Russia will “launch” a mock nuclear attack against the U.S. and Britain during military exercises over the next week.

Moscow’s Nezavisimaya Gazeta reports that Russia’s strategic bombers and nuclear submarines “will deliver hypothetical nuclear strikes on the U.S. and Britain, while locating and destroying aircraft-carrier groups of the U.S. Navy.”

The massive air, sea and land maneuvers are being conducted in the wake of America’s stunning victory over Iraq, a longtime client state of Russia.

If the mock strikes were real, they would kill 125 million Americans in the first three days of such an attack, with tens of millions more casualties in the weeks after.

The paper said the exercises are taking place because “Russian military leaders have learned a lesson from the Iraq war, and intend to show the U.S. and its allies their determination to repel any potential threat coming from the West.”

Okay, so it’s NewsMax, so take it with a brick of salt. It’s probably true, sure, but what they don’t point out is that this is nothing big. It’s a war game. We play them all the time, and I’m sure we play nuclear scenarios with Russia and China.

Bicyclist Hits, Kills Pedestrian On Tri-State Sidewalk

A pedestrian was killed late Monday after being hit by a bicyclist in a local community.

The accident happened at about 10:40 p.m. on Main Street in Amelia, WLWT Eyewitness News 5 reported.

According to Amelia’s police chief, the bicyclist was riding on the sidewalk when he collided with a man who was walking.

The pedestrian was pronounced dead at the scene, WLWT reported. His name was not released.

Jeez…

Body in Pipe an Unsavory Addition to Water

Millions of people in Manila have been drinking super-chlorinated water this week as the body of a teenager remained stubbornly stuck in a major supply pipe.

Manila Water Co dumped large doses of the disinfectant into a reservoir serving the eastern part of the Philippine capital after the young man fell into an aqueduct on Saturday while picking fruit.

The company has insisted the water supply is safe as it tries to dislodge the body. Health officials agreed that the chances of contamination were slight but urged Manila Water to work faster.

“We will have to fish out the body first,” Dr Concepcion Quizon, chief executive assistant to Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit, told reporters on Tuesday. “The public will not feel good or right using the water.”

That’s good water!

Rioting Greek fans set fire to dog

A black-and-white husky was smeared with tar and set on fire by rioting soccer fans after the Greek Cup final, police said Wednesday.

The dog was attacked by fans of Aris Thessaloniki after the team was defeated 1-0 Saturday by crosstown rival PAOK.

After the game, Aris fans set fires in Toumba Stadium and later smashed cars and property. The dog was apparently picked on for its colors: PAOK play in black and white.

An animal welfare group found and treated the husky for burns and an injured eye, and informed the police Wednesday, authorities said.

You guys got it all wrong. You’re supposed to light the dog POOP, not the dog itself. Sheesh.

Guns, guns and more guns. All the guns you could ever want!

U.S. media blitz on Cuba angers Castro government

The Bush administration has stepped up anti-Castro propaganda with radio and TV broadcasts beamed to Cuba from an aircraft.

The island’s Communist government on Wednesday condemned the campaign as a ”vulgar provocation.”

I’ll tell ya what’s vulgar. That Castro’s still in power. The man just purged his country of dissidents in March and we did nothing! We’re talking about slapping France with restrictions because they don’t go along with us yet we ignore this blatant human rights violation in our own backyard. BAH!

Surveys pointing to high civilian death toll in Iraq

Evidence is mounting to suggest that between 5,000 and 10,000 Iraqi civilians may have died during the recent war, according to researchers involved in independent surveys of the country.

None of the local and foreign researchers were willing to speak for the record, however, until their tallies are complete.

Such a range would make the Iraq war the deadliest campaign for noncombatants that US forces have fought since Vietnam.

I keep seeing the Red Crescent quoted, an Arab relief organization which isn’t really known for being independent. Also, does this take into account Saddam’s sending soldiers out to die? I don’t know, I really don’t think we’ll ever have an accurate count of the true extent of civilian casulties, but I don’t think it’s a drasticly high number, even if it was a ground war. If it is, that’s horrible and we should reevaluate what we did to try and keep it from happening again.

Buried Treasure

Welcome to Iron Mountain, the largest commercially owned underground storage facility in the world. This is where Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, has deposited his huge and growing collection of historical photographs — approximately 11 million negatives, prints, slides — a cache that represents a culturally significant chunk of the visual history of the 20th century.

Down here, underneath the far reaches of western Pennsylvania, in a cold and gleaming vault big enough to stage a Busby Berkeley dance number, a Gates-owned company called Corbis has constructed a home that includes the storied Bettmann Archive, with its sprawling collection of photos and illustrations (film director Martin Scorsese drew on it heavily for “Gangs of New York”); the archive of United Press International, including its vast array of photographs from the Vietnam War; and more than a dozen smaller photo collections.

The vault is the only privately owned, subzero underground vault in the country, and probably the world. It is the coldest, and, it’s fair to say, the most controversial.

Weird. And neat. And kinda disgusting. The man has too much money. Can I have some?

Hatfill Hit by FBI Car While Under Surveillance

A scientist identified as “a person of interest” in the investigation of the deadly anthrax attacks was slightly injured in a traffic incident involving a federal agent who was following him.

Dr. Steven J. Hatfill suffered a bruised foot and abrasions after the incident Saturday but wound up getting a ticket for “walking to create hazard” that carries a $5 fine, according to a copy of the citation provided Monday by Washington police.

Pat Clawson, Hatfill’s friend and spokesman, blamed the incident on “harassment” by FBI agents and other federal officers who are watching Hatfill around the clock and tail him when he leaves his Washington home.

FBI officials confirmed Monday that the incident occurred but declined to comment further.

…

According to Clawson [Hatfill's friend and spokesman], Hatfill and his girlfriend were driving to the Georgetown section of Washington while being followed by several vehicles. A green sport utility vehicle was following especially closely, Clawson said.

Shortly before 4:30 p.m., Hatfill’s car pulled into a parking spot on the street and Hatfill got out with a camera to take photos of those trailing him. Hatfill told officers the driver of the green SUV “had been recording his movements all day when he decided to take a picture back,” according to the police report.

The driver of the green SUV then drove off, striking Hatfill, the reports said.

Hatfill did not seek hospital treatment and refused attention from paramedics at the scene. Washington police issued the ticket to Hatfill for walking in the street while attempting to take the photo.

How does one roll their eyes on a blog? And a $5 fine? Christ, it costs the city more to have the cop issue it!

The New Scholarship of Comics

The late historian-philosopher C.L.R. James enjoyed quoting Hegel’s aphorism that the old man repeats the nightly prayer of his childhood — but with a lifetime of experience. James, my intellectual inspiration for decades (and the subject of my earliest biographical volume), was doubtless speaking of himself as well. Today, students who come to a campus with Spider-Man on their minds may have trouble believing it, but they share the superhero with middle-aged professors. For, in our scholarly lives, many of us are not just harking back to distant memories of the Marvel comics of our childhoods, but creating a new scholarship on the comic book and the comic strip.

The scholarly part is an odd experience and, for the most part, a recent one. The longtime lack of respectability of the subject guaranteed that most of the historical documentation would, for decades, be undertaken by comics fans themselves, hardly any of them professors. It consisted mainly of interviews with the artists, or reviews of specific works, published in fan magazines like The Comics Journal, in books from small presses, and, more recently, on the Internet. The reprinting of strips and books, dating to the 1970s but growing by leaps and bounds since then, is probably the biggest spur to historical interest, although the hoarding of rare issues and the continued growth of “fan cons”comics-fans conventions suggests that the fannish quality of interest is not ebbing.

If I feel up to it I’ll comment on this later, but for now it is bed time. ‘Night, folks. (Like anyone’s out there at the moment…)

And in local news I used to wonder what was up with the 25 Miles Per Hour on the main road in the back of Central Park/Silver City, the big commercial area here in Fredericksburg. There a road near the back that accesses Super Wal-Mart and Uptown (which looks straight out of Miami Vice). Every other road in this development area is 35 MPH, so 25 seemed out of the ordinary.

Well, until I counted no less than three dead ducks on the road in the past week.

See, before Carl Silver got his hands on this stuff it was a big ass golf course with a huge lake and tons of ducks and geese running around. Really nice stuff. Then Silver got it (an adventure in and of itself) and said “I’m building my memorial!!!” A bunch of folks said “what about the duckies?” “What about them?” *GASP* “Ha, ha, just kidding.”

So he built a crapy pond with a filtration system that’s more for show and said the ducks would have a place to roam.

If they can dodge the cars.

And with the Super Ultra Wal-Country opening up back there, more traffic has been put on this road, meaning more cars these ducks have to dodge, which leads to the larger than normal number of dead ducks.

Sigh, this town’s gone to shit.

So the news station out of DC, WTOP, is doing a series this week on customer service nightmares and crap like that and all I can think of when I hear this is “Quit yer bitchin.” Because, guess what? 9 times out of 10, your bitching is why you get bad customer service. If you get rude or bad service, it can usually be chalked up to one of a few things:

1) These guys don’t get paid dick

Six bucks an hour starting at most places near me. Six bucks. For six dollars, I’m not putting up with anyone’s shit, I’m sorry. Well, check that, I would, I’m a sucker and a wuss, but I don’t blame other people for getting fed up.

2) They’re working weekends/nights/holidays when you have off

Day after Turkey Day sucks ass. And that’s when the bitches come to play. Customers come in and complain about everything and how their day is ruined. Guess what? THEY DON’T CARE! And for good reason. They have to work that day, every day you have off. Weekends, federal holidays, late nights, all of it so you can have some sort of shopping experience.

3) They’re usually understaffed

If it takes five minutes for you to get help, that’s because you’re being helped by the only person on the floor. Retail is a business out to make profits like everyone else, and sometimes they decide the best way to make a profit is cut staff. What big guys at the top fail to understand is cutting staff cuts customer service which, in the long run, drives away customers causing a drop in sales and the cycle continues until you close the store. I worked human relations at Borders books a few years back and they decided sales weren’t meeting expectations so they were going to cut staff, TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! So, yeah, service was shit that year. But those bastards at the top got fat bonuses. Grumble…

4) Customers treat them like shit

These guys aren’t paid to deal with customers coming in and being rude. These people are not servants. They are not maids or personal helpers. But customers continue to treat them as such. Just beucase you don’t have to or have never worked a retail job in your life does not mean you are better than anyone who does because, guess what? They’re necessary. Just like janitors, trashmen, window washers, the people you think doing shit jobs, without these people YOU’D be doing the shit job, because someone’s gotta make it pretty for the ‘important people’ to get by.

Bad customer service is usually a byproduct of a bad business and bad customers. Yes, there are times when the retail worker is just a bad person, but that’s rare and just one bad apple in a store full of people who are simply trying to get by on what they can get. Having been there, I bend over backwards for these people. Hell, I can’t go into the Borders I used to work at without finding myself straigtening up.

So I don’t want to hear any bitching about bad customer service. Treat these people with some respect and you’ll get it back.

There is a God! This is the best damn news I’ve heard in a long time.

Bush Press Secretary Fleischer Resigns

White House press secretary Ari Fleischer, the public face of the Bush administration through two wars and a terrorist attack, said Monday he will resign in July to enter the private sector.

“I love this job,” Fleischer told reporters at his informal Monday morning briefing. “I believe deeply about President Bush as a man and I believe deeply in his policies, but it’s my time to go.”

Damn right, and good riddence. I’m sorry, but the guy’s a dick. Really. The press secretary’s supposed to deliver the President’s message in a way that is media and public friendly. Instead we got a cock who’s using a lot of “I think” and crap like that saying stuff that really doesn’t help the President’s case in a lot of issues. The guy’s a bad press secretary. Good bye.

Tomb Raider computer? Uh…. okay…

Your All Gay

Porn Shown on Shoppers’ Channel

A cable company says it’s not sure why, but some New Hampshire television viewers got more than they bargained for on a shopping channel.

The shop-at-home QVC channel in Manchester broadcast adult porn for a short time Friday afternoon.

Comcast says it doesn’t know how the wires were crossed or how many customers were affected. It’s trying to figure out what happened.

“And next we have this lovely Hummel figurine.”

“Wow, Ted…”

“…you’re hung like a horse!”

These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed

Case proven - war does not eradicate terrorism

The bombs in Riyadh show that the threat of September 11 is not over. That much is clear. Equally clear is that the present danger is not from rogue states or weapons of mass destruction, but from murderous gangs with dynamite and cars. As Afghanistan was followed by Bali, so Iraq is followed by Riyadh. After waiting out the razzmatazz of war, reality terrorism is back in business.

These killers cannot be eradicated. Though they pose a threat to human lives they do not threaten Western values. They may stir dictatorial tendencies in paranoid politicians. But to imply that such incidents undermine freedom is to lose all faith in democracy. Whatever the motives, these are criminal acts. They should be met by the art of intelligence and the science of security, not by the crass hand of ?regime change?.

Can we say ‘bullshit’? Look, I don’t know anyone who’s said wars will eradicate terrorism. But it will seriously hinder terrorists’s ability to attack. As it has done. Terrorist attacks are at their lowest levels in 30 years. This week’s attacks are the first serious attacks in months. And even then, they’re in countries who have not properly moved to secure themselves against terrorists. “The art of intelligence and the science of security” has led to NO terrorist attacks on American soil AND the US government warning about and asking for increased security against the terrorist attack in Riyadh. The security didn’t come. Look what happened. No one has ever said terror can be completely destroyed, nor has anyone assumed they’d have done it by now. But war can make great strides in disrupting terrorist networks and their abilities to terrorize the world, as has been effectively done.

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn’t a guy in our class that everybody called the “Cricket Boy”, because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, “You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he’s just like everybody else.” Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I’d invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I’d have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

Deep Thoughts