New at Artifice Comics

Bush43 #13
“Can You Feel It? It’s Electric! Boogie Woogie Woogie”
by Jason S. Kenney

“What is that?” I asked as I leaned towards the window and squinted to try and make out what was silhouetted on the sky in the distance.

“I believe it is the state of Texas,” said Alfonse.

“Oh, Sweet Jesus.”

“It’s been up for at least a half an hour now. And this is not the first time it has been seen over Pacific City, though, it is the first time since you’ve been out and about.”

“The little round guy did it,” I said, partly in awe.

“The little what?”

“I try to take one night off, just one night to catch up on my sleep, and this guy’s got to go and…” I complained, storming across my room to my dresser. I threw open a drawer and grabbed sweat pants and a t-shirt.

“You’re going out in that?” asked Alfonse as I turned around.

“I’m going out to kick a little tail and then I’m going right back to bed so I can actually get some.”

Alfonse cocked an eyebrow but didn’t say a word.

I went into my closet and grabbed some sneakers and picked my mask up off the floor.

“I can’t believe I’m going to waste my time with this,” I grumbled as I sat and pulled my shoes on.

“I am certain there is a good reason for the alarm,” said Alfonse, and while he wasn’t smiling I certainly heard the joy in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Hey, Dad, can I borrow the car keys?”

Dick Cheney finally makes contact with his hero, Bush43. But will the party be spoiled by crashers? Will Bush43 ever get any? When will we see a guy running around in a Bill Clinton mask? All of these questions are answered in Bush43 #13: “Can You Feel It? It’s Electric! Boogie Woogie Woogie”! Well, all except that last one. There will probably never be a Clinton. Unless Hillary wins. Then you might see a Clinton44 or 45 or whatever number president she’d be upon victory. If that happens. Maybe Al Sharpton will win. Wouldn’t that be great? A guy running around in an Al Sharpton mask? GASP! A new super villian team! “The Democratic Hopefuls”! Hmmmm….

Where was I?

Oh yeah!

Bush43. Only at Artifice Comics.

This is that protest I was cracking on earlier: Tour of Shame against corporate globalization and the WTO

On Friday, Sep 12, the Mobilization for Global Justice will be conducting a “tour of shame” stopping at Bechtel, Pharma, a military recruiter,the Washington Post, McDonalds, and the US Trade Representative’s office to protest their roles in the kind of globalization and war promoted by the WTO and its friends.

Since many activists in the area cannot easily get to Cancun to go after corporate globalization’s servants in Cancun, instead we are going after some of their masters right here at home! Update: NOON, McPherson Square, 15th & K NW International Days of Solidarity Sept. 10-14, the *World Trade organization holds its ministerial meetings in Cancun, Mexico. Join us as we act in solidarity with our brothers and sisters in Mexico and around the world who refuse to let the WTO impose their elite agenda on the world. We will take a walking “tour of shame” to highlight federal and corporate institutions in DC which manipulate and push the WTO’s devastating policies. United Students Against Sweatshops www.usasnet.org Mobilization for Global Justice www.globalizethis.org DC Anti-War Network, www.dawndc.net United for a Fair Economy, www.faireconomy.org

Yes, brothers and sisters, let us walk though a town that will be empty of anyone that we really want to talk to because it’s the weekend and make our point about a meeting that’s not even in the same country! HUZZAH!

Democratic Presidential candidates name their favorite hits!

Carol Moseley Braun: “You Gotta Be,” by Des’ree.
Lovers, they may cause you tears / Go ahead release your fears

Al Sharpton: “Talking Loud and Saying Nothing,” by James Brown.
Huh! Like a dull knife, it just ain’t cuttin’ / Just talkin’ loud then saying nothin’
(J Note - reminds me of the Dead Milkmen song “Gonna Beat My Wife. Just sayin’…)

John Edwards: “Small Town,” by John Mellencamp
All my friends are so small town / My parents live in the same small town / My job is so small town / Provides little opportunity

John Kerry: “No Surrender,” by Bruce Springsteen
The walls of my room are closing in / There’s a war outside still raging / You say it ain’t ours anymore to win

Howard Dean: “Jaspora,” by Wyclef Jean.
Depwi mwen piti mwen te kite Ayiti / Gen sa ki al Brooklyn gen sa ki al Miami (It’s Creole, okay?)

Joe Lieberman: “Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow),” by Fleetwood Mac, and “My Way,” by Frank Sinatra
Why not think about times to come / I’ll state the case of which I’m certain

Dennis Kucinich: “Imagine,” by John Lennon
Imagine there’s no Heaven / It’s easy if you try

Dick Gephardt: “Born in the U.S.A.,” by Bruce Springsteen
Sent me off to a foreign land / To go and kill the yellow man

Bob Graham: “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes,” by Jimmy Buffett
If we weren’t all crazy / we would all go insane

My first thought it: Dean listens to the Fugees? Well, okay, maybe not exactly, but still. Huh.

I wonder what Wesley Clark’s favorite song is. Perhaps we’ll find out soon enough…

Smart fender recognises pedestrian impact

An impact sensor for cars that can instantly recognise and protect pedestrians in an accident has been developed by engineers in Germany.

If the sensor detects that a pedestrian has been struck, the hood (bonnet) of the car is immediately pushed a few centimetres upwards by a system of hydraulics. This creates a vital buffer zone between the pedestrian and the car’s suspension turrets and engine block. Crash tests have shown this buffer can prevent a pedestrian receiving a serious head injury on impact.

To prevent false alarms popping up the hood, the system distinguishes between pedestrians and other objects on the basis of their mass. It can differentiate the mass of a small child and that of a traffic cone, says Johannes Vetter of Siemens Restraint Systems, the company behind the design.

The key to the system is a set of mirror-coated fibre optics in the car’s fender (bumper). These are broken on impact, meaning that light that leaks out, and the amount of light detected by a sensor at one end decreases. An onboard computer uses this loss and the vehicle’s velocity to calculate the mass of the obstacle struck.

So you’re telling me that I can get struck a car equipped with this going, oh, about 60 miles and hour and say “My, what a friendly bumper!”? Huh. Well, if it saves just one life it’s done it’s job.

What’s In A Name?

JASON
——————————————————————————–
From the Irish root meaning “Ugly Brute”
——————————————————————————–
Expression
Jason is drawn to the scene of an accident by morbid curiosity.
Personality
Jason never stops testing the limits of your patience.

Natural
Jason is a genetic freak of nature.

Emotional
Jason is cold and calculating.

Character
Jason tends to get others down.

Physical
Jason has a problem with body odor.

Mental
Jason is a mean SOB.

Motivation
Jason is terribly over-confident.

I got this from Chew. Yea, Chewie!!!

When did protest singers become such pussies?

Really. There was just some anti-WTO protest out in McPhereson square and they had their big happy face on a stick and some PAs and some guy was singing shitty protest songs. They sounded like bastardized versions of Kumbyah. God, pisses me off.

Here ya go, jerk offs, I wrote you a song. You just make up the music, that can’t be hard. Hell, just strum the G chord over and over and rap the words to it. So here’s a song that completely covers the reality behind your protest songs. Enjoy.

WTO Suxs
by Jason Kenney

Oh, the WTO is like really bad
and they play the world like we’ve been had
but I know something they don’t know
like it is cold when it snows
but more importantly I am here today
cause I got stuff I’ve got to say
and many of you know where I’m coming from
when I say I’m just here to get me some

Ohhhhhh…
get me some, get me some
I’m gonna bag a hippy chick tonight
get me some, get me some
WTO sucks overall but today it’s alright

Woah, look at that big smiley face on a stick
who knows why we’re using it
but he’s smiling cause he’s free
but he wishes he was me

cause I’m gonna

get me some, get me some
gonna bag me a hippy chick tonight
get me some, get me some
smiley face on a stick knows I’m right

The WTO is really bad
it spreads capitalism all across the land
why should others get money
cause then there’d be less for me
I hate capitalism I hate money
but I’m glad I’m supported by my mommy
without her money I couldn’t come here
and then I’d never get any and have to sit at home and pout about how I’ll never get chicks because my parents never let me do anything I want despite paying for my college and this nifty PA system and my guitar and my cell phone and all sorts of cool shit because dad’s a lawyer and mom’s an accountant but they hate the system too but they know they have to work in it in order to get by and they’re just trying to subvert it so I can get a kick ass job and subvert it to by making lots of money to spend on me going to protests instead of donating it to organizations that might help countries develop stable economies of their own without having to rely on the evil WTO that I’m protesting and hating even though I have no idea why and have no idea what alternative to give them but it should go to hell anywaaaaaaaaayyyyy

*deep inhale*

get me some, get me some
gonna back fifty chicks tonight
get me some, get me some
all the hippy chicks think I’m tight
get me some, get me some,
musicians get all the chicks
get me some, get me some
oh, and Bush was never legally electeeeeeeeed

You’re welcome.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life’s not fair! It’s never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something’s gotta change. And it’s gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Opus Returns!

Age Gauge

you were:
22 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
20 years old on the first day of Y2K
18 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
16 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
15 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
13 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
11 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
10 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
6 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
4 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
4 years old during Sally Ride’s travel in space
2 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
not yet 1 year old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began

Amazing! How does it know so much?

Downloader “Doe” Fights RIAA

Her lawyer calls her Jane Doe. The music business calls her nycfashiongirl, which is her Kazaa screen name. She’s fighting to keep her real name a secret, becoming the first individual to take a stand against the recording industry’s latest attack on file traders.

In August, Jane Doe filed a legal challenge to block the Recording Industry Association of America from obtaining her identity, because it violates her right to privacy. Since June, the RIAA has run computer searches of hard drives in order to single out at least 1,075 people swapping songs on peer-to-peer services such as Kazaa. The RIAA then subpoenas the person’s Internet service provider to obtain his name and address so that he can potentially be sued for copyright infringement.

WOO HAH! Fight the power! I hope people fight the RIAA tooth and nail.

Wanna know why CD sales are down 31% over the last 10 years? IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE CHARGING FUCKING 18 BUCKS A POP FOR THEM! I’m sorry, a CD is not worth an hour of my hard earned pay or three hours of some 16 year old flipping burgers at McD’s.

Tree Of Life Webproject

Livejournal Mood Ring

jason is angry.

If you’re not careful some delicate part of your circulatory system is going to explode. Take up yoga or something. You’re probably making people nervous.

brought to you by . wanna know your livejournal’s mood ring color? enter your username and hit the button.

Star Trek - USS Psychotic Behaviour

Are you my friend?

Never one to miss a bandwagon, I’ve joined Friendster to see what it’s all about. So far it’s about… Uh… putting in stuff about me…

John is right. Defend Your Castle does rule.