Stop the virtual presses!  CNN, known for its hard hitting journalism and crack ability to check the background of questioners at supposedly screened partisan debates, has finally figured out why bad kissers don’t get to second base!  This discovery was so important that it’s made their front page:

Now exploding zambonis, THAT’S news, especially when it has video.

Bad kissers not getting to second base has been around since the dawn of man.  And that’s assuming that kissing itself isn’t second base.  (Kids today…)

The rocket science behind this study says that:

59 percent of men and 66 percent of women said they’ve been in the position of being attracted to someone — until they kissed the person.  (I have removed the CNN link to “Check Out Some Famous Kissing” because, well, I can. - J~)

“At the moment of the kiss, there’s a very complicated exchange of information … that may tap into underlying evolved mechanisms” cluing us in on whether we’re genetically compatible, explains Gordon Gallup, co-author of the study and professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany. “A kiss can be a deal-breaker in terms of whether a relationship will flower or flounder, so to speak.”

Rachel Myeroff, 26, can attest to that. On a second date with a guy, says the New York City-based sales manager, “he just went in for it and attached himself to me in the sloppiest, most horrible kiss ever. He was just consuming my mouth. I most definitely did not call him again.”

We needed a Gallup poll and study published in a psychological journal to tell us this.  Experience wasn’t good enough, oh no, let’s go ask people about kissing.  I wonder how many guys doing this study used it as a pick-up line.  “Hey, baby, I’m doing a psychological study to see if kissing gets folks to second base so let’s say we make out and see where the night takes us.”  (I may have to file that one away in the ol’ pick-up line section of the J~ brain.)

It’s just, I don’t know, isn’t there more going on in the world that really should matter than the no brainer that is bad kissers don’t get all that far?  Maybe it isn’t for the folks at CNN.  Maybe this is their public service story for the week.  Who knows.  At least it’s being addressed, I guess.