It’s March 21st, and that means Apple’s about to reap what it sowed.

Yes, this is real. And it’s from Canada.

“At Virgin Mobile,” the ad goes on to say, “you’re more than just a number. When you call us we’ll treat you like a person, not a client. Whether you’re #9 or #900, you’ll get hooked up with somebody who’ll finally treat you just how you want to be treated.”

…because I know that sometimes this is me:

 

Batman’s parents are dead and he’s gonna make sure everyone knows it.

I know 653 ways to kill a man.  Fist to the face is #56.

Series of tubes to clog by 2010? “[I]t may take more than one attempt to confirm an online purchase or it may take longer to download the latest video from YouTube.”  Ohs nos!  Sounds like…  well, the internets as they are right now…

Style Weekly’s reporting on a new neighbor in Carytown: The Church of Scientology:

The Church of Scientology, a self-help New Age religion created by best-selling science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard, is opening a mission in Richmond — Carytown, to be exact. Right across the parking lot from Richmond’s own defenders of the faith and purveyors of produce, Ukrop’s Super Markets.

…

Dianetics, a pseudoscience developed by Hubbard for clearing one’s negative memory bank, promises to help its followers overcome “problems, stress, unhappiness, depression and self-doubt.” But as so many Richmonders know, positive mental attitude is often no match for city building inspectors.

Stanard says no date has been set for the storefront mission’s grand opening, as there have “been some questions about the renovations.”

There may also have been some delay caused by the need to call in an acolyte of orthographics to help with the spelling of “dianetics.” Until sometime last week, the new Scientology sign on the building’s facade spelled the word — the founding tenet of the religion — with an extra n before the t.

If you just can’t wait for the place to open to find out more, check out Operation Clambake or what folks have to say over at Wikipedia.

(Thanks, Jon.)