April In Review or How Elin Nordegren Boosted My Ego Without Actually Knowing Me
First, a graphic!
[[GRAPHIC LOST TO THE INTERNET]]
How ’bout that, eh? Almost 18,000 hits in one month. How did this come about?
I blame Mike Sanders and his Google Persuader. GP is a neat little game where you take the top ten searches from Google for the week and use them all in a sentence. One week, Elin Nordegren happened to be there. A model and new girlfriend of golfer Tiger Woods, Ms. Nordegren is a hottie who everyone wanted to see. And, I happened to be one of very few sites to even mention her name.
Searches were few until that one faithful day, April 10th, when Ms. Nordegren showed up at the Masters to cheer her new amour on. Almost 4,300 hits later it was the 11th. What a day. And it would continue for the next few, every now and then flaring up with the last real bump coming April 15th.
But on the 17th there was another surge, but this one wasn’t a cheat, no, I earned this puppy.
Glenn Reynolds linked to some comments I made towards someone else’s comments about the pro-Israel rally in Washington DC earlier this month. People who normally flock to his site turned to mine for these comments and the hits surged.
And then there was a sudden decline and I’m now getting about 100 or so hits a day.
What are “blogs” and should you have one, too? The term is a contraction of “web log.”
Well, blogs (let’s take off the quotes and get used to the term, as we’ve gotten used to ‘Net and Web and download) are personal Web sites that individuals can get up and running without being technical whizzes. There are companies that put them together for you and you can maintain them for free if you accept ads or for fees ranging from about NIS 50-NIS 300 per year if you don’t.
Users of America Online’s instant-messaging program and system were unwittingly connected to profanity and pornography last Saturday, according to an anti-AOL Web site.
AOL Watch said that malicious hackers — more accurately known as “crackers” — inserted profane graffiti, X-rated photos and sound files throughout the “Entertainment” section in AIM Today. The AIM Today feature of AOL’s Instant Messenger (AIM) generally pops up when a user first starts the AIM program, unless the user has disabled the feature.
Jason is a blogging fiend. There are at least four people that he is responsble for getting hooked into having one of these things (myself included). If you’re looking for someone to blame for the explosion of pretty pointless blogs (mine included) you should look no further then him. He is evil. Send him hate mail by the dozens. You can write to him here.
I am completely in awe of his ability to convince people to waste their time. Now if only he would use his power for good instead of evil. (or at least convince his girlfriend to start a blog. She’s a lot smarter than him with more interesting opinions.). Go check out his latest conquest ‘Will’s Rambles’. The link is to the right.
One by one, 27 Palestinian civilians Tuesday walked out of the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem where they had been holed up for almost a month. About 20 people Israel accuses of being terrorists remained inside.
As the Palestinians walked out of the church, CNN’s Mike Hanna reported they were showing identity papers to Israeli soldiers in Manger Square and boarding a bus. Israeli officials said those not wanted by Israel would be released.
In other action, Israel’s security Cabinet decided not to cooperate for now with the United Nations fact-finding team appointed to look into the conflict at the Jenin refugee camp.
Israel has relayed evidence to the European Union that its aid to the Palestinian Authority is being diverted to finance insurgency attacks.
Israeli officials said the government of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has sent captured PA documents on the Palestinian use of EU aid.
Over the last year, the EU has provided more than $70 million to the PA to pay salaries of members of the more than 100,000 Palestinian civil servants. The EU aid has earmarked for paying the salaries of Palestinian police officers, Middle East Newsline reported.
Israeli officials said the Sharon government sent a report to Brussels that details PA use of EU funding. The report asserts that the PA pays 20 percent less to its officers than reported to the EU. The difference is pocketed by the PA.
PA officers are said to earn between $250 and $500 a month, officials said. But their salaries are paid in Israeli currency and based on an exchange rate that amounts to 3.6 shekels to the dollar. The actual conversion rate is close to five shekels per dollar.
The result is that the PA earns $2.5 million a month from the EU aid, which it then uses to fund insurgents, the report said. Officials said a similar report was presented to the United States.
Mr. Elmo Goes to Washington Yeah, yeah, it’s old, but I didn’t post about it then so I’ll post about it now!
A Bangladeshi snake charmer called in to find two serpents in a suburban home near the capital unearthed over 3,000 deadly cobras and hundreds of eggs.
Police and local newspapers said snake charmer Dudu Miah captured over 3,500 young cobras at two houses in Narayanganj near Dhaka.
The find, however, triggered panic among neighbors who fled their homes, police said.
A group of parents are calling for the resignation of Rancho Bernardo High School’s vice principal, claiming she enforced underwear checks at a school dance, 10News reported.
The dance occurred Friday and vice principal Rita Wilson turned away girls who were wearing thongs, the parent said.
Kim Teal is among the several parents angry with Wilson (pictured, right).
“First thing (my daughter) said when she got into the car was, ‘Mom, it was horrible last night. You have to fight this,'” Teal told 10News.
According to parent Alane Garvik, girls who arrived at the dance wearing short skirts were immediately asked: “What kind of underwear do you have on?”
Now, I’m just a guy so I may have no idea what I’m talking about here, but doesn’t most other underwear kinda show through a skirt that might be form fitting? I mean, not show show, but you can see the lines, right? Hell, what am I saying, BECAUSE I’m a guy I know exactly what I’m talking about here. Unless there’s no underwear involved….
A couple weeks back Mike P. wrote me asking for a little HTML help and I wrote him this big ass e-mail with all sorts of info in it to get him started. Then Jeremy asked and today Will and I just forwarded them the same mail. Now, instead of doing that, I’m going to post all of the basics and then some here on J’s Notes for everyone to enjoy. This is in no way thurough, but it’s a start.
This is an edited and expanded version of the e-mail I sent Mike on April 17th:
Start with knowing cut and paste. Highlight something, hit “Ctrl + C” and that cuts it. then, find where you want to paste it and hit “Ctrl + V”. Well lookie there…
My first recomendation is to get your website on your computer and do all edits there first. That way you can stop and look at what you’ve done and not risk ruining the whole site. The best way to do this is, in Blogger, hit “Template”. Highlight everything in that box, that’s the HTML for your page, and cut and paste it into Notebook. Save that page somewhere on your harddrive as myblog.htm and now this is what you’ll edit. Do all of your edits in Notebook and be sure to save to this file. View it like you would any other website on your harddrive, open up the folder, click on it, it pops up, looks pretty, don’t it? Don’t worry about the Blogger gibberish, leave it there, that’ll fix itself once you put it back on blogger, it’s what reads your posts. For the love of God, leave it alone or you may be in a world of hurt.
Now you will have a link “Mail Me” that will let viewers send you e-mail. You can change the “Mail Me” part, but always always always be sure you have the closing tag (</a>) with any links. Actually, it’s good to have closing tags with everything but line breaks (<br> or <p>) (and some people will say have it with line breaks as well, but I don’t. So there.)
To make links is roughly the same. say you wanted to link to my site (hint hint):
Now folks will see “Jason Kenney” and it will link to me. Yea!
NOTE Always, always, always remember the http:// part of a link that is not hosted on your server. If you do not have that, it will look for the page where your page is. What do I mean by that?
If you want to add buttons to the side like I have for some links, well, with blogspot you can not host images of your own (though, if you have space provided by your providor you can host the pictures there and reference them). But say you wanted to link to Elkboy like I do (erlend larsen’s site).
First you need to find the url by clicking on the link of course. http://elkboy.cjb.net
Then you need to find out the URL for the image. Right click on the image on J’s Notes and click on “properties”. There’s the address. Highlight it, cut and past it where you want the image to be. http://home.no.net/jolt43/elkboy/blog/elkboy.gif
Now you have a button! You need that border=0 thing, otherwise there will be a line around the picture for the link. Border=0 keeps it nice and clean.
Want to change the alignment of things? EASY!
There are a couple different ways to center something. I recomend:
<center>stuff you want centered</center>
will look like: stuff you want centered
though, you can also use:
<div align=”center”>stuff you want centered</div>
will look like:
stuff you want centered
But that sometimes puts a space before and after itself, I don’t know why, it just does.
Want something aligned to the right? Best way is:
<div align=”right”>stuff to the right</div>
will look like:
stuff to the right
And there ya go.
Hmmm…. I can’t think of much else in the way of tags. Blogger will do bold (<b></b>) and underline (<u></u>) and italics (<i></i>) for ya. If for some reason you want to strike through something, use:
<strike>stuff struck through</strike>
will look like:
stuff struck through
If you want a horizontal bar:
<hr>
will look like:
And you can set the width of that with the width=”x%” tags, so, if we wanted it to be 50%:
<hr width=”50%”>
will look like:
And you can set the alignment with the align=”x” tag:
But, if you wanted EVERY link on your page to open in a new window you could place the following tag in between your head (<head></head>) tags:
<base target=”_blank”>
But ONLY do this if you want EVERY link to open in a new page. Some folks don’t like when you force an open in a new page.
I think that’s it, if I think of anything new I’ll be sure to let you all know. Or, if you have any comments or questions, let me know.
04.30.02 UPDATE 1337 EST Aligning images or having the text wrap around them (same thing) works like aligning anything else, simply add align=”x” in the image tags, so:
The phone connecting with the cradle ended the tiring conversation. Principal Fluttie, one time member of the fast track toward school administration, shook his head as yet more stress piled onto his shoulders. The climate of today’s society required a police force of sorts to be seen around a school campus, although Fluttie opted for armed guards over metal detectors and lockdown procedures, simply to make a child’s time here seem more about learning, rather then doing time.
One of the subjects of Fluttie?s concentration passed his window as he pondered the man further. If he could be called a man, the principal thought, further annoyed by the lack of personality the guard exhibited. Fluttie decided there where other things to worry about, no longer paying attention to the guard as he continued his rounds. Had he, some interesting facts might have come to light.
One of which being the guard was anything but human, nor would it ever exhibit much of a warm personality or make friends with the teaching staff. It had one mission to complete, and was about to do just that.
“TARGET ACQUIRED” it said, breathlessly, a communications array transmitting its voice to its partner across campus. “INITIATING SCAN.”
A beat past while the guard stood motionless, the working of its jaw the only movement made.
“TARGET CONFIRMED. MUTANT GENE ISOLATED. RECONFIGURING MAKEUP TO PROTECT AGAINST POSSIBLE OFFENSIVE ABILITIES.”
Bayview High was about to be short one student, one mutant student. Exactly as the Superintendent wanted it to be.
“SENTINEL PRIME TAKING ACTION.”
Written by Alex Cook. Plots by Alex Cook and Jason Kenney
Hey, everyone, not must to tell you on the Computer fund front except that I’ve had a computer offered to me by Will and work’s offering me one as well. Both are a few years old, but they’re definately something to play with. But I’m still working on getting a brand new one. Or maybe a digital camcorder so I can start making movies! Wanna help?
Well, you can use the Amazon box on the left there, or, now you can use PayPal to send me money! Yeah! And I think they take less of it for themselves! Or, you can always contact me and I can give you an address to send the box of money to, whatever works best for you!
And remember, if you send $20 or more I will send you a free CD, J’s Nuts Volume 1! And thanks!
You are an AKMA. You stand out from the crowd because of deeply held beliefs in the unknown. You ponder endlessly and treat everyone, even fucknozzles, with respect. WWAD (what would AKMA do) guides your actions. Take the What Blogging Archetype Are You test at GAZM.org
Here’s my problem with this test: I’m all the above. If I answer one way, I’m AKMA, if I answer another I’m Andrew Sullivan, and yet another, I’m Rebecca Blood, just depends on my mood, really. I guess AKMA’s the current winner because, well, that’s what my first result was, so I’ll stick with that.
