Top Five Depressed Superheroes
1. Black Bolt. Black Bolt isn’t allowed to speak, because his voice is so horribly destructive that it might demolish the world. His wings resemble accordians, the most harmless and charming of instruments (apart from the kazoo), mocking the cataclymsic potential of his speaking voice. He never learned sign language, and it can be infuriating waiting for him to scribble a note, or while he attempts to indicate his thoughts with a scowl or pout. In restaurants it takes Black Bolt hours to decide on the simplest order. Ostensibly many other superheroes look up to him for leadership, but if you really pay any attention to his band of followers you perceive immediately that they are all freaks, with lousy powers. His dog is ugly.
Jonathan Lethem freakin’ rules. Go buy his new book.