The Terror Of Mecha-bin-Laden!
Jubilation quickly turned to shock and revulsion yesterday when the news of Osama bin Laden’s death was followed with the monstrous revelation that his brain has been transplanted into an armour plated robotic body, effectively granting him mega strength and immortality.
The days news began with a Pentagon briefing to the press in which a delighted Donald Rumsfeld revealed the news to the world that Osama bin Laden, Saudi millionaire, terrorist mastermind and US public enemy number one, was dead.
“We have reliable sources from all over the region indicating to us that bin Laden is dead, apparently from kidney failure.” Explained Rumsfeld. “He had reportedly been sick for some time and has had treatment before for this illness. Truthfully, we were hoping we could have bagged him ourselves, but as long as he is dead, we’ll take it!”
Just then an aid whispered something into Rumsfeld’s ear and the press conference was abruptly ended. US officials quickly left the room looking ashen and shaken. They had just learned that Arab cable network Aljazeera was airing a live satellite transmission from the monstrous new face of al Qaeda.
In a grotesque attempt to cheat death, Osama had his doctors transplant his fiendish brain in to a cybernetic host, a specially crafted robotic husk to serve as the terrorist’s body so that he might live forever. In a violation of the laws of god and man, the enemies of freedom have created an 8 foot, heavilly armoured, super intelligent, sociopathic, weaponized, metal megalomaniac to lead their fight against America. And in an unsettling show of arrogance, the beast’s first action upon awakening was to place a live call to the world to announce its intentions.
“I AM MECHA-BIN-LADEN!” Shrieked the creature in a metallic voice. “All will tremble before me. I will burn your cities, ravage your land and enslave your children! Your leaders cannot protect you. They are weak, feeble fleashings. Where as I consist of metal polymer that can never be breached. NEVER!”
NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The terrorists have won!