Author: Jason

Bush43 #12 Now Available!

New at Artifice Comics

Bush43 #12 – “Summer In The City”
By Ian Astheimer, Trevor Carrington, Alex Cook, Matthew Downey, Derrick Ferguson, Jason Kenney, Leslie “Ciro” Lancaster and C.W. Russette

I planted my feet and stood ready. The man reached into his pockets and started fishing for something, his tongue between his teeth has he tried really hard to find whatever as in there. He kept searching. And searching. And searching.

I stood upright and lowered my hands while he continued to dig in his pockets.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah, just gotta find…” he drifted off, concentrating. “Damn it, I know it’s in here somewhere. One second…”

I looked at my watch as he continued digging. A small crowd had started to gather around us to look at this spectacle. God, this guy was embarrassing both of us.

“AH HA!” he shouted, pulling his hand out of his pocket with glee. And he popped the mouth guard between his teeth. “LETSH GU!” he slurred through the rubber guard, standing ready.

I rolled my eyes and got ready again. What an idiot.

He charged at me with a scream. I waited until he was close enough and then jabbed hard, right into his nose. I felt it give under my fist and smiled with satisfaction as he stumbled back.

“AHH! JESHUSH CRISH!” he shouted as he grasped his bleeding nose. I didn’t wait for him to reorient himself, kicking him in the gut and following with a sweet ass upper cut that set him on his back.

He stirred for a bit, trying to get up, but then passed out, collapsing on the ground and ending that.

Christ, how lame.

Various writers come together to help celebrate the first anniversary of the hero that everyone should know and love. Follow his exploits as he goes around Pacific City, Australia fighting monkeys, wanna be villains and heroes, competes in a dance competition and so much more. Who loves ya? Artifice Comics loves ya.

Clothes Shopping

God, I hate shopping for clothes. I just dropped eighty bucks on two dress shirts and a nice pair of pants. Eighty bucks! Okay, so that’s really not all that bad. I guess. But I think I remember clothes being cheaper not too long ago. And I’m not talking back when I didn’t have to pay for them, though that was pretty sweet. No, really, I could go get a nice pair of khakis for twenty dollars. Now I need thirty, minimum, and that’s if I don’t mind them bursting into flames in a month or some crazy crap like that. And I guess I really don’t have it all that bad considering I’m a guy and my clothes are automatically cheaper, but still! Eighty bucks. That’s like sixteen McDonalds Value Meals. Or two weeks worth of groceries! Okay, fine, I have no room to bitch.

But I’m gonna do it anyway.

EIGHTY DOLLARS!!!!

Sigh.

I think I’m going to start a “Jason Needs New Clothes Fund.”

And this wouldn’t be a problem if I weren’t becoming too big for my britches. In two years I’ve put on almost four inches. Which isn’t all that bad considering I’m still skinny, but I just don’t like it. It’s not that I’m getting pudgy, hell no, I just don’t like having to buy new clothes because I all I do is sit around all day. Could be worse, I guess. I could have Shaun’sgut.

Throw the book at him!

Former President Carter To Be Tried For Peace Crimes

An international peace-crimes tribunal commenced legal proceedings against former U.S. President Jimmy Carter for alleged crimes against inhumanity Monday.

Right: Carter awaits trial for acts of peace committed between 1976 and the present.

“Jimmy Carter’s political career includes a laundry list of anti-war-making offenses,” said chief prosecutor Charles B. Simmons. “Carter’s record of benevolence, diplomacy, and respect for human life is unrivaled in recent geopolitical history. For millions, the very sight of his face evokes memories of his administration’s reign of tolerance.”

The former president, whom Simmons described as “relentless in his naked pursuit of everlasting global peace,” has been sought by peace-crimes officers in the international war-making community for decades. Police apprehended Carter on July 25 in South Florida, where he was building low-income housing as a part of a Habitat For Humanity project. Shortly thereafter, he was extradited to Geneva, where he will be prosecuted for “grossly humane acts against all nations.”

Unintended Information

What I’m taking from a couple of news articles is probably something unintended but still interesting in their own rights. 

Like this monkeypox thing. Sure, the whole disease is bad and all, but all I keep thinking is, “you can have a pet prarie dog?!?!!! SWEET!” Now I want one.

Or this article in today’s Washington Post about some balding guy with a radio program for fellow balding people. I haven’t read the article, but I did read the caption to the picture. $825 gets you two hours on WJFK-FM here in DC. So I could get my own weekly radio program for only $825? NEAT! Okay, so that isn’t exactly pocket change, but that’s still kinda cool.

Oh well. I’m a sad guy.